life happend while you were doing other things
by cullenlover1901
Summary: bella and the cullens are next door neighbors,alice and bella are bestfriends,they finish highschool and go off to collage but what happens when bellas life is changed because of edward...AU all human.. ...R&R...
1. moving on

A/N: hello everyone this is the new story I promised …its an AU story all human…enjoy

"Bella!" Alice called from downstairs. She knew there was no one else  
here since Charlie died, but she still felt the need to announce her presence.  
I laughed at the thought. Alice Cullen is my very best friend. She and her  
four adopted siblings have lived next door to me for about eight years now.

She has always been there for me; when Renée died from breast cancer six  
months after Alice and her family moved in, and then again when Charlie died  
in a car accident three years ago. She has always been here to wipe my tears  
and to have so much fun with me whenever the rainy little town of Forks got  
too boring. I love her as if she were my very own sister.

Alice came from a very loving family. Her father Carlisle was the  
outrageously  
young and gorgeous doctor at Forks Community Hospital. Her mother Esme was  
the  
beautiful and kind-hearted local interior designer. She owns a warehouse  
and  
uses it as a store for her line of home and office furnishings.

Her whole family was amazing. Jasper and Emmett were Esme's nephews.  
Alice had been dating Jasper since junior year, but it was okay since they  
weren't really related. Jasper was one of my best friends too, he was easy  
to talk to and have knowledgeable conversations with. He likes to read too  
and he hates everything I read so you can see where the fun might come in.

The other Cullen's were Rosalie, Emmet, and Edward. They were all  
different. Emmet and Rosalie were together also. Rosalie was really  
beautiful. She was statuesque and had long blond hair; her personality was  
just as lovely.

Though we weren't as close as Alice and I, Rosalie could always be counted  
on for clever advice. Emmet was strapping with curly dark hair. He was so  
much fun in many ways. He was like a big brother to me. And then there was  
Edward. He had auburn hair and emerald eyes. He was nice and we would talk  
sometimes, we shared the love for music and lyrics that spoke volumes to us.  
Although they were my next door neighbors, they all were so much more than  
that.

"Up here Alice!" I called, signaling her that I was in the attic.

She climbed up the pull down ladder and looked at me curiously because I was  
surrounded by loose pictures of my childhood, from age four all the way up to  
now.

"Bella, what on planet earth are you doing up here?"

"Oh! I'm just baking pies...what does it look like, Alice? I'm going  
through my photo boxes…duh!"

"Oh! Aren't we funny?" She bent down and started tickling me  
mercilessly.

"Alice!" giggles "Alice!" giggles "Stop please!"  
Finally she stopped and sat down on the floor next to me. "I still don't  
get why you are doing this"

"I don't know I just felt like it. After breakfast I drove down to the  
memorial park and took Charlie some flowers, and when I came home I felt like  
reminiscing. Now, here I am."

"Oh, Bella! You know I like to go with you when you visit Charlie."

"I know, Aly, but I just felt like with graduation coming next week, I  
should go alone once before we leave for collage, next time we'll go  
together and say goodbye."

She pulled me into an embrace and whispered, "Bella, I love you like my  
very own sister, but you can't get so sad about leaving to live your live.  
Charlie lived his and he wants you to live yours as soon as you can."

"I know, Alice, but I just feel like I'm leaving something behind."

"And it's okay because you are walking into something much greater."

I smiled and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Aly"

She laughed. "Come on, Belly. Let's go eat. I'm starving!"

That night was our own little moving-on party. Edward and Jasper came over  
and had pizza for dinner with us. We stayed up all night playing video games  
- the guys beating us ruthlessly - talking, listening to music. Then we got  
on my roof and watched the sunrise; Jasper holding Alice around her waist and  
me standing next to Edward. We were talking about perfect songs for this  
moment. We both decided on my favorite band, The Shins (caring is creepy).  
It was the perfect ending to the high school chapter of our lives.

When we all went to sleep it was about seven-thirty. The guys slept in  
Charlie's old room that had been redecorated, as was the rest of the house  
thanks to Esme, into a guest bed room.

At about three, we all left and headed our separate ways. Alice and I went  
to the mall to buy shoes for graduation, and Jasper and Edward went to help  
Esme at the warehouse. She had some redesign opinions for her new locations  
and wanting to go over them with the guys seeing as both Edward and Jasper  
wanted to be architects.

The days flew by and next thing I knew, it was the morning of graduation and  
I had nearly overslept. Alice was at my bedroom door dressed in her yellow  
cap and gown with an incredulous expression plastered across her face.

I jumped from my bed. "Alice! What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong graduation started half an  
hour ago and you are still sleep!"

"Aah! Are you serious...holy sh-"

"Stop talking and get dressed!"

I raced at full speed to the bathroom. Luckily, my hair was done the night  
before. I quickly went through my bathroom preparations and put on my dress  
and rushed to Alice. "Zip me up! Zip me up!"

After I was dressed, I ran to my closet and grabbed my cap and gown and my  
purse and then we both made a run for the door. Within seconds we were in  
Alice's early graduation present, an Audi R8, racing time to get to school.  
When we reached the parking lot, I put on my gown and zipped it up then Alice  
put on my cap.

As soon as we entered the auditorium we heard the speakers ring out "Mary  
Alice Cullen"

Alice jumped and then realized the principal was calling her to receive her  
diploma. She ran down center isle and walked up the stairs to "pomp and  
circumstance", aka the graduation song. As I found my seat in the graduates  
section I saw Jasper.

With a smile playing on the edges of his lips, he said, "How lovely of you  
to grace us with your presence"

After our entire senior class sauntered across stage and received their  
diplomas, we all stood in unison. The principal announced, "I now present  
to you the graduated class of Forks High!" We all tossed our caps in the  
air, each of them falling onto the ground symbolizing our time here now being  
put to rest.

After graduation, Alice and I got in her car heading to Port Angeles to eat  
at an Italian restaurant called 'La Bella' with her brothers following  
close behind in Edwards Volvo.

I suddenly felt the need to scream "Alice, can you open your sunroof?"

"Sure, but why?"

"I don't know really…" I answered her innocently. Once her sunroof  
was open I got up and stuck my torso out the roof and started screaming  
ecstatically…. "We were free, we were happy, and we were young."

Alice looked at me, taken aback, and burst out laughing. Then she joined me  
in  
the screaming. I looked behind us and I saw Jasper and Edward laughing with  
us  
uncontrollably. I looked at other cars looking at me in disbelief but I  
didn't care about them looking. I didn't care if we would get pulled  
over…I didn't care about anything at that particular moment.


	2. let go

A/N: hey guys I got great feed back in this story…stats are looking you …special thanks to my beta my-bella …here ya go enjoy and review

"Come on Alice!" We were packed and ready to leave. I decided that I would keep Charlie's house in Forks while I was away at collage. Esme said she would keep it up while I was gone so I wouldn't have to sell it. I was glad Esme  
did this. It saved me a lot of worry.

Alice and I were going to Dartmouth in New Hampshire. Edward and Jasper were going to join Rosalie and Emmett at Yale up in Connecticut to study  
Architecture.

In the Cullen's driveway, there was a small moving van carrying Edward and  
Jasper's things. There was another small moving van parked where Charlie's  
cruiser used to sit, holding all of Alice's and my own things.

We had spent 48 hours straight packing to head up to Hanover and I was really  
tired of waiting for Alice. I said my long goodbyes beforehand and she was  
still saying goodbye to Jasper.

"Jasper, darling! I'll miss you so much. I love you and never forget  
that!" She was forcing herself to keep walking to the van. I could see the  
tears building up in her big brown eyes. I knew she would break down after being so close to Jazz for all her life then just going away for long lengths of time. I felt really bad for her and even worse for myself for acting so childish for not admitting my feelings for Edward when he told me about his for me.

_**Flash back:**_  
The wind was whipping around my face causing the tears to stream down on to  
my shirt. I was really sad about leaving everyone and my parents behind, and  
Edward was there to witness it. He saw my tears and he came and held me in  
an embrace. I clung on to him for dear life.

"Bella, it's ok. We all want you to live your life. I know you miss  
Charlie, but he is ok. Just let him go, Bella. He will always be a part of you."

"I don't think I can, Edward. It's so hard. And I'm going to miss how we would hang out and go to school and then just see each other whenever we wanted to," I said between sobs.

"Oh, Bella! I'm really going to miss you, more than you could possibly know."

"What do you mean?"

"I love you Bella … more than I have the right to."

I loved him too. I just didn't think it was possible for him to feel the same. I couldn't comprehend it. I just started crying harder than before  
because my time with him was gone like that … before I even got a chance to  
be with him. My head was spinning and before I knew it, I lost my legs and he  
was holding me up. Right then, I lost all consciousness; I was out, game over.  
_**End of flash back:**_

I woke up the next morning in my bed and then started packing relentlessly. I packed all the new clothes Alice bought me and all my old ones she hadn't done away with yet. I was disappointed and now that we are going to different collages there was absolutely nothing I could do. I felt helpless.

Alice opened the van door and hastily climbed in, bringing me back from my sad reverie. She was distant and hurting. I stared out the windshield and started the engine. I wanted to get out of the place that caused so much hurt and yet so much joy in recent years. I waved goodbye to all the Cullen's that were gathered in the yard. They all waved back. I looked at each of their beautiful faces - Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, and finally Edward - memorizing their features as if I would never see them again. Then I sped off, not looking back.

As we hit the outer limits of Forks, Alice looked at me, still fighting back  
her tears. "Bella, please say something."

I was now fighting back tears too. It hurt me to see her like this.

"What do you want me to say, Aly?" My voice was uneven.

"Say anything to keep me from this silence that surrenders me to my mind."

"I love you."

_That _broke her.

"Oh, god Bella! I love him so much." She cried, the tears coming faster and faster.

I pulled over because I could no longer see. I blinked out the tears in my  
own eyes. I pulled Alice into my side and we started crying together.

"Bella, it hurts so badly! Make it stop! I feel like I can't breathe anymore!" She was sobbing so hard that my whole body was shaking. Realization washed over me. I was crying! I don't know whether it was empathy or something else, but I sure was crying.

"Aly, baby, don't do this. Please! I can't stand to see you like this. I know it hurts, but I'm sure you will see him when we go home for breaks. Aly, I…I…ca-"

She interrupted me between sobs.

"Bella, what if when we get out of collage he still doesn't want me the way I want him? What if he meets someone who is better than me? What if we never…"

My voice was still shaky when I spoke again.

"Aly, he loves you and you have to trust that. Okay?"

She looked at me and gave me a weary smile. "You're right. I have no reason not to trust him. He loves me … I love him … and we will be together some day." She sat up and looked out the windshield, still sniffling and wiping the  
fallen tears away.

"It's getting late. We should go to a hotel tonight and rest up, get some food then start off in the morning. If we leave early enough, we can get to our new house then get registered for classes and still have time to unpack. And Bella, thank you so much for letting me be a big baby."

"You're not a baby, Alice. You're human."

She smiled at that. "Thanks for letting me be human!"

"Anytime, Aly Anytime."

The engine roared to life and we pushed forward in our journey to New Hampshire.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Alice, I love ……I think I …"

"Bella, spit it out!"

"IloveEdward" I said it extremely fast, hoping she wouldn't catch it  
or ask me to repeat it.

A few minutes passed in a substantially thick silence and then she shifted in  
her seat and said, "Isabella Marie Swan ... ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU ARE IN  
LOVE WITH MY VERY OWN BROTHER AND YOU DIDN'T UTTER SO MUCH AS A WORD ABOUT IT TO YOUR BESTFRIEND? NO! YOU'RE SISTER!"

Damn, she caught it…

"No, Alice. I'm saying I _was_ in love with him."

"What do you mean 'was'?

"It means I'm not in love with him any more. I just can't be."

"And why the hell not?"

"Because it's over. Normalcy is over. I won't see him for months at a time. There's no way that I can be happy."

"Isabella, I don't believe you! I was just crying my eyes out because I love Jasper and I won't be able to see him for months and even then it will be only for days, and even at that I still have to divide my time between him and the rest of my family ... and then you tell me this and say it's impossible to be happy this way! Do you know what that does to my faith in a future with Jasper?"

"Alice, it's different for you because you and Jazz have something  
already. But for me and Edward, he just confessed his love for me and then I  
passed out and said nothing more about it. There is no way in hell that he is going to sit around for four years and wait for me."

"Bella, you are worth waiting for. Just call him! E-mail him! Write  
letters! Just don't sit there and let it all go to waste. Hun, time is too  
precious for that … trust me, I know."

"Alright, Alice. I'll try to work something out. But for now, just be  
patient about this. It's not easy for me, dealing with every emotion I have  
ever felt in my entire life flashing before me over the last few days."

"I know, Bella, but we have to be strong. No matter what happens over the  
next four years. Deal?"

"Deal!"

When we arrived at our house three days later, we were ecstatic … that was the only word that fit … our fabulous new home that Esme had decorated for us was amazing. Downstairs, past the front door, there was an open space that served as the living room and had new furniture from Esme's warehouse. Through the living room, there was a dining room with a small window just above the square table with seating for two. Through the small dining room, there was a beautiful kitchen. There was a long island in the center with eight bar stools around it and drop lights above it. The stove was far back against the south wall and farther to the left was the stainless steel refrigerator. Walking back through the kitchen to the dining room, through the living room, there was a staircase. Under the staircase was a door that led to the half bathroom. The upstairs had two bedrooms. There were originally three, but Esme had a wall torn out so that there was just one huge master bedroom that Alice and I would share. Then there was a mid sized guest bedroom that was there if we were to ever have visitors, and three and a half bathrooms.  
Alice and I each had our own bathrooms on either side of the huge master bathroom that we shared.

"Alice, please remind me to thank Esme for this! It's amazing!"

"Yeah! She is really great at this. Hey, let's finish unloading the van and then we can order out for dinner since our refrigerator isn't stocked  
yet."

"Mam! Yes, Mam!" I said as I gave her a salute.

She burst into a fit of giggles. "Belly, you are a true comedian!"


	3. summer luvin the last two years

**A/N: Hey Guys…FYI reviews make me happy and when I'm happy, I write so yeah…take note…. **

Time passes fast when you're busy. Alice and I had two classes together and I was thankful for that. I just would have died if I only got to see her in passing at work and then at home. Alice and I got jobs at 'Runway' magazine as first and second assistants. Alice of course was first assistant.

Our jobs changed things a lot…for one, my wardrobe was vastly designer. Alice insisted on buying me all new business based clothes that I refused to wear. They were nice, but they just weren't what I was used to. Alice said, and I quote, 'Bella, if you wear those rags to work, I won't talk to you until you change'. So I gave in and complied with her ridiculous demands! Between class and this job, I was kept very busy. The money was good, although the work I did was fairly strenuous and degrading in a sense. Alice being there was the only thing making it a great experience.

By Christmas I had saved up enough money to replace my old truck. Don't get me wrong, I loved my truck. But I needed to be a little more efficient with my means of travel so I left my truck in Forks at my house so I would be able to joy ride down memory lane every now and then when I returned. I bought a barely used Mazda MX. All the Cullen's thanked me for finally buying something that was made in the last five years.

I spent a lot of time with Edward during Christmas and I told him how I felt. He told me I was the only thing he could think of the whole time he was away and that we should stay close friends until I was ready to try at a long distance relationship. I agreed and once our holiday was over, Alice and I went back to school. Two weeks had passed before I called Edward

_**Flash back:**_

Ring…….. Ring……… ring…..

"Hello?" Edward's voice came through the receiver like music to my ears.

"Hey, Edward! It's Bella…I don't really know why I'm calling. I just…."

"That's ok! I miss hearing your voice"

"I miss your eyes." Oh my god! Did I just say that out loud? ...aaahhhh…..

"Of all the things to miss, it's just my eyes?" he said in mock hurt.

"Of course! What else is there to miss?" I laughed at my playful sarcasm.

"Ouch, Bella! That really hurt!" he said in a dramatic monotone.

I started giggling. "Okay, okay! I remember why I called now!"

"And whatever could that be?"

"I love you."

……………………….Dead silence…………………….

I could hear he stopped breathing so I continued speaking to break him from disbelief. "I just wanted you to know that. Long distance isn't my thing, but I can try…just because I love you, Edward."

"I'm sorry did you say something? I was having a daydream that something amazing happened while I was on the phone with you. My imagination is getting a little out of hand."

"Edward, it wasn't a daydream it was me! I said I love you and I'm ready to try at the long distance thing."

"Wow, it just happened again! I think I'll have to take some Tylenol ASAP." That's funny! As soon I get the nerve to tell him I love him, he thinks he is going mad. "Bella, hold on one second." In the background I hear, "Jasper! Come here please!"

"Yeah, bro! What do you need?"

"Can you ask Bella to repeat the last thing she said?"

"Hello Bella, this is Jazz. Can you repeat the last thing you said?"

I complied. "I love you and I want to try a long distance relationship."

"Ok, Bella! Thanks."

"Here, Edward. Bella said, and I quote, 'I love you and I want to try a long distance relationship'."

Edward came back to the phone and said happily, "Isabella Marie Swan, you are an amazing woman. I love you!"

_**End of flash back:**_

The rest is history! Edward and Jasper came to visit Alice and I once a month every month. We made many memories, went on many dates and had many catastrophes! But it all worked for us and before I knew it, two years had passed. It's now two weeks before summer is over and Alice and I will be starting our junior year.

"Jasper, you my friend, you are truly absurd!"

"Bella, your taste in literature leaves something to be desired! Okay, look! Jane Austen is one thing. She is classic, but Shakespeare? Come on! The man is not real! And even if he was, he would be morbidly obtuse to society or he would be missing … oh, I don't know! A soul!"

I laughed energetically as I watched Jazz get worked up over my lack of unoriginality when it came to books I read. "All right, jazz. Whatever you say, I still love Shakespeare!!! Ha, ha!"

"No foul to me! It's your brain cells that are being filled with tasteless rubbish!" His tone was still humorous.

"Hey, I just thought about something quite devious!"

"Do tell! I'm slightly intrigued"

"Well, it's more of a bet..."

"Okay?" He waved his hand, gesturing for me to continue.

"I bet that next time I see Alice she will have something for me to do..."

"Nope, too easy!"

"Oh, come on, Jazz! You know you want to! If I win, you have to read 'The Tempest'. If I lose, I have to read 'The Tell Tale Heart'. Twice!"

"Deal! Any thing to get you off Shakespeare!"

Just then I saw Alice prance joyously on to the deck where Jazz and I were sitting. We had rented a summer beach house in Connecticut so we could be with Alice's family. We were having so much fun that I never wanted to leave. But it had to come to an end whether we liked it or not.

"Edward wants to see you at the shore in fifteen minutes. I laid out some clothes for you to wear so go … NOW!" Alice said, going from a sweet and innocent voice to a harsh monotone.

I held my hands up in front of me in surrender. "Okay, okay, Aly! No need to get pushy!" I looked at Jasper and smiled. "I win"

"Touché" he huffed.

As I walked through the white linen curtains hanging in front of the French doors that lead to the bedroom, I heard Alice and Jasper laughing. They were truly made for each other! Ever since we came here, Alice had been nothing but joyful. It pained me that we would have to leave and I would have to see Alice fall to pieces the way she always did right after they were separated.

Once I reached my bed, I could see that Alice had laid out an indigo bikini with a flimsy white cover up skirt, a nearly see through shirt with a plunging neck line and some white flip-flops. Even though I didn't want to wear this, I just complied because arguing with Alice was a waste of breath.

In my head I was going through different scenarios of this situation with Edward on my way to the shore. I mean, we had spent the whole summer talking, getting to know each other a lot more and just being happy. I could see now that he did love me, and that I was without a doubt in love with him. We only separated this morning to get some time with the other people in the house. I was talking with Jazz, he was at the shore with Alice and the rest of the Cullen's went out to the mall.

Coming up to the beach, I saw Edward standing in a white shirt and indigo shorts facing the ocean.

"We match!" I said drawing his attention away from the crashing waves on to the string and handkerchief that was my outfit.

"You look amazing!"

"Not so bad yourself," I said in a tempting, yet mocking tone.

He laughed. "Did you walk?" he inquired, looking over my shoulder at the empty lot behind us.

"Yeah, I needed the fresh air and time to mull over a few things."

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, why you wanted to meet me here, and this whole summer, and how it's ending."

"Yeah. I asked you here so the last time we would be alone would be better than fifteen minutes in a boring white room. This summer has been incredible. I'm really going to miss you more than ever now," he said in a soft tone while his hand cupped my face.

I pulled him into an embrace and buried my face in his chest. "Edward, I don't know how I'm going to make it just seeing you once a month." I could feel the tears building inside my eyes daring to make a fool of me. "It's not fair!" I whispered, now feeling the tears assault my cheeks and then his shirt.

"I know, Bella. But I don't think you will have to" he soothed, kissing my hair.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking into his shining emerald eyes as a smile formed on his face.

**A/N: Cliffy!!!!!!!!! Yayness!...Thanks for reading…Special thanks to my beta and my loyal reviewers!! **


	4. blindfolds scare us!

"I mean, it's a surprise."

"Oh, Edward! You know I hate surprises…just tell me now….please?" I said in my charming voice.

"Not a chance!" he quipped.

Acting on pure impulse, I started kissing the skin on his chest that his shirt left exposed. I stopped with the kisses and grabbed his hand and pulled him behind me as I walked closer to the water. I sat down and pulled him with me. I continued kissing his chest and kept going lower. Each time I got to his waist and felt his breath catch I would ask, or rather moan, 'Can you tell me now?' Edward would respond with a breathless 'No.' I was playing dirty now and there was no one there to stop me. I looked up at him and brought him in for an engaging demonstrative kiss. Once his emerald eyes were filled with desire, I smiled seductively and said, "You tease me! I tease you!" I shrugged in mock nativity and ran down the shore as fast as my clumsy feet would allow me to.

Once he worked through the surprise of being left, he ran and caught up to me with ease. He wrapped his arms around my waist and asked, "Wherever do you think you are going?" His voice was thick with lust. He started kissing down my neck and I whimpered in pure bliss.

"I think we should get back before dark. It's twilight already."

"Hmmmm. Okay. Whatever you say," he whispered, still trying ever so hard to get the upper hand in the teasing.

We started walking down the shore towards the lot where Edward's car was parked and then I thought about the first time Edward and I had a passionate kiss.

_**Flash back:**_

I was so happy! Edward finally came with Jasper on his monthly visit to see Alice. I was nearly jumping up and down with joy at the airport terminal. This would be the first time I had seen Edward since I agreed to try a long distance relationship with him. Alice was almost about to explode with excitement to see Jazz again. She had right to … I mean, Edward and I are great, but be are nowhere near where Alice and Jasper are when it comes to an emotional connection.

"Bella! I'm soooo happy!"

"Believe me Alice, I can tell!"

"Ha, ha!" sarcasm dripping from her words.

"So are you going to tell me what you have planned for our 'double date' tonight?"

"Nice try, Belly!"

"Oh, Alice! How you underestimate my power to gain valuable information is a mystery in and of itself!"

"Oh, really? Do tell! How do you plan to gain this information?"

"Well, I can threaten to tell Jasper about the little boy shorts you prance about the house in on Saturday nights that say 'Future Mrs. Hale' on the butt …"

Alice's eyes turned into slits. "He will never believe you!"

"Oh, but he will, Aly! When he knows where to find them!"

A smug smile crossed her face. "Ha! That's impossible! I change their hiding place every time I wear them."

"Damn it!"

"And besides! If you ever told Jazz that, I would just tell Edward about the boxers you bribed me to snag from his room so that you could wear them to bed every single night!"

"Damn it to hell!"

"Alice always wins! Never forget that, Belly!" Alice sang, her tone childlike.

Just then, we saw Jasper and Edward coming through the gate. In the blink of an eye, Alice jumped on to Jasper and wrapped her arms and legs around him. While I was looking at Alice and Jasper, Edward was looking intently at me. Before I knew it, our lips met and it was like nothing before. Of course we had kissed before, but the current that flowed through us was charging me to do more. I stopped myself before I grabbed a fistful of his shirt.

_**End of flash back:**_

When we arrived back at the house, Alice was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed and her mouth in a nice little 'Alice is fuming' pucker. It was probably because she was blindfolded.

"Oh! Hello, Alice! What are you up to on this fine evening? What's that, Alice? You're blindfolded? Oh, I'm sorry! Knots are my archenemy! I'm all thumbs!" I said as I watched Alice's expressions range from livid to amused and everything in between.

"Oh, Isabella! You _will_ reap what you sew! Jasper! How come Bella doesn't get a blindfold?"

Edward had been standing behind me, but Jasper came out of the kitchen and waved Edward over. From what I could tell by the hand towel tossed over his shoulder, Jasper was cooking. This should be good! Two men in the kitchen! But then again, they are living on their own so they must eat some how. Right? I hope I don't get sick. I'm not really in the mood to embrace the toilet bowl tonight.

"Bella, have a seat next to Alice. I'll be right with you," Edward called as he walked towards the stairs. Moments later he returned holding a black piece of silken material.

"Edward, darling! What the hell do you think you are going to do with that?" I asked in a smug tone of voice, knowing he wouldn't dare to put that on me.

"I'm going to blindfold you, dearest."

"Ha! I'd like to see you try it!" I quipped.

"Bella, please just do this for me. You will have Alice right next to you. Please?"

He pleaded so very well! Begging was not one of Edward's customary things to do, but if he ever had to he could go at it mercilessly. On top of that, he unleashed his eyes onto my soul, making me forget my name. My resolve melted and I sat down in defeat.

I replied with a simple, "Huh?"

"I'm going to blindfold you."

"Oh ... right … yeah!" I whispered breathlessly, nodding my head.

And with that, he tied the scarf around me and kissed me on my lips. "Thank you," he said. I wrapped my arms around his neck and drew out the kiss a little longer, trying to get the upper hand.

I heard Alice say, "I'm right here you know!"

"Oh, sorry!" Edward and I said at the same time.

"Ok! Jazz and I have something planned for you ladies so give us a little while." And then Edward disappeared.

"Alice, where is everyone?"

"I don't know. I think they went to the movies or something. Bella, I'm scared!"

"Me too, Aly! Me too!"

For the next half hour we would occasionally hear something thump or crash in the kitchen and then the faint sounds of whispers. Just as I was about to settle in to sleep for a minute, I heard two pairs of footsteps.

Jasper said, "Come on follow us"

"Ahem ...the blindfolds, genius!" Alice said, her voice drenched in sarcasm.

"Oh, right! Sorry, Aly!" Jasper whispered as he removed Alice's blindfold.

I heard Alice stand up and clear her voice. "What about our dearest Bella?"

Just then I felt two lips meet mine. "Eeew, Jazz! Come on man!" I yelled. Then the blindfold came off and I saw Edward. I turned crimson in embarrassment.

"Oh! Sorry, Jazz. I just…yeah, I'm…going… to… stop talking," I stuttered.

I heard Alice and Jasper laughing uncontrollably. "Oh, Bella! You are truly absurd!"

I looked at Edward's amused expression and smiled sheepishly. "Umm…sorry!"

He laughed. "Come on!"

Edward took my hand and led Alice, Jasper and me to the deck. When he opened the French doors, Alice and I gasped simultaneously at the sight before us……

**A/N: CLIFFY!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!...lol…sooooo sorry but how else am I going to get you guys to review…so tell me what do you think they are going to see?...the person who guesses right will get the next chapter dedicated to them…good luck**


	5. chocolate surprises worth 1,000 words

**A/N: I think you will like this, if you don't someone can always just die or something…lol **

BPOV:

"I ……I …..It…..It's beautiful!" I finally managed.

Right there before our eyes was the deck, covered in red rose petals and white calla lilies. Tea lanterns were hanging from the eave. There was a little table set with four plates of pasta salad, four glasses of red wine, and one plate of assorted chocolate covered fruit. Right in the center of the table were four small white candles.

All of this was amazing, but the most beautiful thing was a natural site and surprisingly, it wasn't Edward! The moon looked if it was rising up from the ocean. It seemed as if I could just go into the water and swim to it. Or better yet, I could get lost in it and never find my way back. It was so stunning! I don't even know if I would want to find my way back. It reminded me a lot of gazing into Edward's eyes.

I glanced over at Alice. She looked as if she had gone into shock. A long breathy silence ensued and then Alice whispered, "Incredible…you are….incredible!" Then she turned to Jasper and said, "I love you so much!" Her voice was shaky, letting me know that she was crying.

I turned to Edward and looked at him. "Just when I thought I couldn't love you more…"

He replied with a long passionate kiss that sparked an electric current, sending it coursing through my veins. From the look in his eyes, I could tell he felt it too.

Our moment was interrupted when Alice said, "Let's eat!"

We sat down with Alice and Jasper on one side and Edward and I on the other. I took a sip of my wine and Edward looked at me like he had seen a ghost.

"What?" I inquired.

"Oh, nothing! I've just never seen you drink before. That's all," he replied.

"Well, Eddie, we are all big girls and boys here," I said in a mocking tone. I backed it up with an enticing smile so he wouldn't make an issue out of the 'Eddie' thing.

"Bella, I'm well aware of that fact!" He eyed my sophisticatedly dressed body purposefully. He leaned in and whispered seductively, "You won't let me forget it!"

Once again, I was lost in his eyes and didn't want to find my way back. We stared at each other, letting time pass immeasurably.

Jasper broke our spell as he moved to take his and Alice's plates away. "Edward, how about we go get our ladies dessert?"

Edward kissed my cheek and whispered, "Be right back!" He grabbed our plates and walked towards the kitchen.

I looked over at Alice. She was already looking at me with a wicked little grin on her face. "What now, Alice?" I asked.

She scowled and said, "What makes you think there's something going on?"

"Well, for starters, that 'Alice is scheming' grin on your face!"

"Humph…well, there is a little, teeny, tiny, minuscule something going on!"

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, do I even want to know?"

"Of course you do, Bella! That's what best friends are for! Swapping stories, makeovers, shopping." She lowered her voice and casually added, "Planning our boyfriends complete and total hormonal meltdown."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "What do you mean by 'boyfriends complete and total hormonal meltdown'?"

"I'll fill you in later! Here they come!"

Edward and Jasper stepped outside onto the deck again. Jazz held four flutes of champagne and Edward was holding a small silver tray with eight delicious looking chocolates on it. There was also a set of tiny silver prongs and two silver saucers. He took the prongs and put four chocolates on each plate. He handed a plate to Alice and then to me, and said, "Here you go!"

"Oh! Before you eat them, be sure to read what's on the back," Jasper said with ease.

I looked at Alice who was looking at me with her head cocked to the side, and then she looked at Jasper and asked, "What's on the back?"

"Nice try! Read and find out!" Jasper replied with a smug grin on his face.

I looked at Edward with one eyebrow raised.

He and Jazz said in unison, "Read and find out!"

I looked at Alice and she nodded her head as she said, "On three!"

I counted down for us. "One … two …three!"

We both turned the first chocolate over. Elegant script showcased in green icing revealed the word '**Guess ****'**.

I stifled a laugh and looked at Edward. "Umm…?"

He pointed to the second chocolate on the plate. I picked it up and saw the same green icing and elegant script. This time, it said '**what?**". I looked at Alice and Jasper, seeing the same situation I was in playing out over there. But Alice was excited and confused! I was only confused.

I decided to try Edward again so I looked over at him and asked "What?"

His only reply was to point at the second set of chocolates. I hastily complied and flipped the first chocolate. This one said '**Just**' and I glanced at Edward. He still had his finger pointed at the plate. I turned the last chocolate over, thankful that this torture was almost over. The last one read '**guess! **'.

I was ready to give up and eat the damn things but I was interrupted by Jasper looking at me saying, "Guess!" His tone was so enthusiastic.

"Oh, I don't know! You've both lost your minds!" I quipped. We all laughed and then both Alice and I looked expectantly at the person next to us.

"Jazz, should you tell them or should I?" Edward asked with a smug grin.

"Oh, I don't know Edward!" Jasper teased. "It's just so tempting!"

Edward said, "On three?"

Jazz nodded. "One …two …three!"

"WE'RE TRANSFERING!" they yelled together.

……………………….Long silence …………………………..

"Alice…Alice...Wake up, honey!" Jasper exclaimed.

Alice had passed out with a grin on her face! I tried to laugh, but I couldn't find the air to do it.

"Breathe, Bella!" I heard Edward say. I was surprised because I hadn't noticed that I wasn't breathing.

When I finally caught my breath, I looked at Edward and managed a comprehendible phrase "OH……. MY……….. GOD!"

A look of relief crossed Edward's beautiful face.

"I was afraid you had gone into shock for a second there," he chuckled.

I laughed as tears of joy slid down my face. I looked into his eyes, once more loosing myself and not caring if I ever came back. I would imagine my gaze was significantly intense because I managed to hear Edward's breathing catch. I whispered, "Breathe!"

He replied by taking a breath and kissing me relentlessly. When he pulled away, I looked over to Alice. She was cradled against Jasper's chest, looking into his eyes. They seemed to be having a quiet conversation. At that very moment, Emmett and Rosalie walked onto the deck.

Emmett's booming voice said, "So I guess you guys told them, huh?"

When no one said anything, Rosalie said, "I'll take that as a yes! Come on, Em. Let's go! I've got something I want you to inspect for me."

When Alice and I came out of the shock and awe portion of the evening, they explained how they were finished with the special program they were in at Yale. They were coming to Dartmouth for engineer courses. They'd sold their condo and bought a house three doors down from us! Esme had been redoing the interior since the summer started. They also mentioned that Emmett and Rosalie were transferring too.

**APOV:**

When Jasper and Edward said that they were transferring, all the thoughts of Jasper and I actually having a future together sent my head spinning!

I felt two strong arms wrap around me and then I heard his anxious voice. "Alice! Alice! Wake up, honey!"

I warily opened my eyes to see Jasper smiling the most amazing smile ever! I very nearly combusted with excitement! I mean, I had gone from on the edge of spiraling downward into the depths of despair to being so lighthearted. I felt that nothing could ever touch me! Only Jasper could make me feel like this! As soon as the realization hit me, I promised that I would never let this feeling go! I would never let him go! I promised myself I would marry this man.

With that silent promise made, I looked into his eyes. "Jasper Hale, I love you so very, very much!"

He laughed and said, "Welcome back!" Then he leaned in and kissed me softly.

After everything was explained, it took every fiber of my being not to run around screaming in joy. In that moment, I knew this was how life was supposed to be...Happy!

**EPOV:**

The next day was very beautiful, yet very empty. Bella and Alice had left early this morning, attempting to get home and make a few 'arrangements' as Alice called it. Jasper and I were on the way back to Yale to pick up our things for the move.

I interrupted the comfortable silence. "What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"How Alice has changed me," Jasper replied with a smile.

"What do you mean she has 'changed you'?"

"I mean, she helped me grow from a boy to a man. Every time I'm with her, I feel a new range of emotions. It's never the same thing twice with her. I love her so much that sometimes it scares me! But it just makes me want her that much more."

"Yeah, I think love has that affect on people."

"Edward, I …I …I think I want to marry her!"

I looked over at him and he looked just as shocked as I felt. He didn't seem to believe he'd just said it out loud. Then again, he looked relieved to have admitted it to himself and to me at the same time. _Two bird's with one stone_ I thought to myself as a thoughtful silence descended upon the car once again.

A/N: no cliffy…HOPE YOU LOVED IT...sorry it took so long to do but I have to plot the rest of the story out so it goes smoothly this chapter is dedicated to –drum roll please…

_**Samantha Cartier**_

_**barbiedoll123**_

You guys rock……and thanks for actually reviewing and guessing

Actually if you give me 15 reviews for this chapter ill throw you a lemon!..wink wink


	6. moving day

Hey, guys sorry its been a while, writers block and I just started a new semester and I NEVER have free time….so to make up for lost time…this is the LONGEST VHAPTER I HAVE EVER WRITTEN!!!!

I own nothing

BPOV:

"Wake up! Wake up!" Alice called, dragging me out of my deep sleep.

"Why?" I whined.

"It's today, silly!" Alice said in her sing song voice.

I opened my eyes to a bouncing Alice in my bed. Then I remembered why she was so excited. Today was moving day.

We decided that instead of having Jasper and Edward so close, but yet so far away, we would move in to the new house with them, three doors down. There were two huge bedrooms and a smaller guest room, with a bigger open space for more people. We would let Emmett and Rosalie have our current house, where there was one large bedroom and a guest bedroom.

This made so much sence, I was a little surprised no one had planned it from the beginning. I was really excited to be living with Edward and I was wondering if he felt the same way.

Alice proceeded to get me out of my warm bed by pulling my hair!

"ALICE! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND!"

"No dearest, I've lost my patience!"

"Ugh….Okay. I'm up!" I squealed in surrender.

"Good! Because we need to finish taking the last boxes over to the house. We don't need to hold up everyone else from moving in because we – the people who are only moving 30 feet away - aren't moved in yet!"

"Alice, calm down. We took most of the stuff yesterday. I mean, after you put on your hot pants and got the huge body builder guys from the gym to help us with all the boxes, there shouldn't be much left to take!"

Alice burst out laughing and said in her best southern belle voice, "That was a lot easier than taking it all our selves, seeing as poor little old me couldn't lift one of those big bad boxes if I tried."

"Aly, you are too much!" I said through my laughter.

After I showered, I got dressed in my ripped jeans, 'Emily the strange' t-shirt, and my old beat up chucks. Then I walked up to the house and looked at it in all its glory.

The outside was beautiful. It was an egg shell color with black accents and a beautiful black swing on the terrace.

I climbed the steps and onto the terrace. I stopped in front of the door to take a deep, cleansing breath, expelling some of the excitement that was coursing through my veins. I tuned the door knob and gasped. There in front of me was one of the most beautiful places I had laid eyes on. I knew Esme had come up to do some finishing touches, but I never thought it would be this lovely.

I stepped into the foyer and saw there was a big mirror on the wall behind the door. Under the mirror, along the wall, was a sleek sofa table. There was a mail tray to the left, a vase of pink carnations in the center, and a ceramic bowl that said 'keys?' on the right.

The light that filtered in from the floor to ceiling window on the west wall illuminated the tasteful crimson living room. There was an olive green, suede, sectional couch in the center of the room, facing the forty-eight inch mounted plasma screen television. In front of couch was a black wood coffee table, where a clear vase of white carnations sat elegantly.

Past the living room was the kitchen with an island and eight bar stools. The island had a sink and dish washer as well. Along the east wall, there was a stainless steel stove and refrigerator set. Farther down the wall were French doors, leading out to the veranda and the small, circular courtyard.

The courtyard was absolutely breath taking! The walkway was made up of broken slabs of stone. In the center was a small fountain that had aqua blue glass tiles on the bottom of it. In the far corner - where the path stopped and there was only grass - was a large magnolia tree. The sunlight gathered brilliantly in its many branches.

When I went back inside the house, I decided to continue my exploration of this palatial dwelling. I went through the archway on the west side of the kitchen and entered the great room. This room had hard wood floors, a fire place in the corner, and a grand piano that was shifted towards the bay window. It provided a perfect view of the street beside the house.

Once I was capable of comprehensible thought, I sat down on the piano bench, placing my fingers on the keys. I was careful not to disturb the blissful silence of the house and I let my mind wander to plans for tonight.

I really wanted to surprise Edward by spending some time alone with him. And since Alice and Jasper would be making up for lost time, our absence would be gratefully appreciated. After my discovery of the courtyard, I decided it would be the perfect place to 'unwind' a little.

I got up and passed through the living room. Near the stairs was a hallway that went straight across; I walked down the left side of the hallway, running my hand along the banister. I looked down and could see the foyer below, as I made my way to the room that Edward and I would be sharing.

Inside of our room was a king sized bed, covered in navy blue comforter, with a single white stripe in the center. A dark oak dresser sat catty corner to the left of the bed. On the right side of the bed, there was a matching night stand with a navy blue and white lamp.

There was also a door to the right, leading to the bathroom. Inside of the bathroom, and to the right, was a large, glass-paneled shower with two shower heads. Across from the shower was a door that I assumed lead to the toilet. The left side was taken up by his-and-her sinks, with a mirror that ran the full length of the countertop.

I walked back into the bedroom and went to the left side of the room. There was a set of French doors and one plain white door. First, I opened the plain white door. It was a very nice walk-in closet with a full length mirror on the back wall. Both sides of the closet had long, mounted shelves above the hanger racks.

My curiosity about the French doors was peeked once I had seen the closet. I walked to the doors and grasped both curled handles. I pulled them open, gasping at the sight before me.

There was a balcony that looked down onto the courtyard. It was so lovely! There was a small circular table with two chairs, and farther to the right was a beautiful navy blue chase lounge chair. There was a white blanket draped casually over the arm of the chair.

I was completely sold on this room!

I walked out of our bedroom and down the hallway. I noticed another hallway. It was short and cream colored, with a window at the end. I ventured down the hallway and found two doors on my left and two doors on the right.

I walked up to the first door on the left, twisted the knob and gently pushed on the door. Behind it was the guest bedroom. It was well decorated. There was a queen sized bed in the center of the room, a dresser on the left side of the bed and a night stand on the right. In the left corner was a floor lamp and next to the lamp was a small coat closet. The room was cozy, to say the least.

I went back into the hallway and tried the second door on the left. It was a fully stocked linen closet; nothing terribly moving there. I walked over to the window, taking in the view of the street. It was so peaceful for the middle a summer day.

Just as I was getting ready to continue checking out the doors, I heard noises. I looked back down at the street and saw three girls. One had long brown hair, one had short black hair, and another had long, billowing, blond locks that sprawled out behind the girl in the wind. They were on bikes, being changed by three boys – one with auburn hair, one with brown hair and one with blond hair. They chased the girls on foot with water balloons in hand. They were all laughing and shouting in excitement. This display of radiant youth put a smile on my face, sending memories of my childhood dancing through my mind.

Once the kids were up the street and out of my view, I continued exploring the hallway. I opened the first door on the right and found a nice bathroom. It had a bay window and a Balmoral Bathtub in the center of the room. On the left wall, there was a sink, a mirror, and a door that lead to the toilet.

I left the bathroom and walked a few steps to the next door. It appeared to be a huge pink closet. There were racks on two walls, shoe shelves on the third, and a lighted vanity with a bench on the fourth. Directly across from the door was another door that held a full length mirror. When I opened the door with the mirror, I found Alice and Jasper's bedroom.

The room was painted a tastefully rich, sea green color. It was very Jasper! The room was similar to Edward's and my room, with the same balcony setup. I stepped onto the balcony and saw that Alice had a swing, instead of a chase lounge with a table set. I walked over to the banister and leaned over it a little. I looked to my left and realized I had a perfect view of my own balcony, along with the courtyard.

"Isabella! Where are you hiding?" Alice sang in her 'Italian' accent. I heard her keys drop into the bowl downstairs and pictured her dancing in the foyer.

I walked downstairs and saw she had the last contents of her shoe collection in two large card bored boxes. "Alice, you are an embarrassment to American culture, dearest. Don't ruin it for my ancestors, too!" I chuckled.

She glared at me and continued in her ridiculous accent. "Ha, ha, Isabella! Now, be a dear and help me to my closet."

I looked at her and decided I would just shut her up. "Il mio nome è Bella a voi missy e lo denominerete tali, quelle scatole siete la vostra ossessione in modo da la trasportate il vostro auto! Approvazione?" I quipped in Italian.

"Not fair, Bella! C'mon! You can't just throw that out there like that, knowing I can't understand it!"

"And that, my dear Mary Alice, is exactly why I did it!"

"What the hell did you say anyway?" Alice said with a confused look on her face.

"I said 'my name is Bella to you, missy, and you will refer to me as such, and you will carry those boxes yourself because they are _your_ obsession! Got it?'"

"And since when do you know Italian?"

"Remember that summer you went to Paris?"

"How could I forget? Oh, the shoes!" Alice squealed.

"Well, while you were across the world getting your fix, I enrolled in a foreign language program!" I said, still wearing a triumphant smile from gaining the upper hand in her foolishness.

"Wow! I never would have pegged you for one to study for something unnecessary!"

"Touché, Aly, touché"

-DING! DONG!-

"Okay, Alice, you get the door and I'll take these boxes up to your closet."

"Deal!"

I grabbed both of the huge boxes, one in each arm, and headed up stairs. At about the tenth step, I heard his silky voice.

"Hey, Alice! Wow! The house looks amazing! Mom did a really great job! Where's Bella?"

I dropped both boxes, the contents sprawling onto the stairs.

"SHIT! MY JIMMY CHOO'S!" Alice screamed.

Edward walked over to the stairs and tried to help me gather them up into the boxes before Alice peed her daisy dukes.

Unsurprisingly, on my journey down the steps to collect the shoes, I stepped on my laces and fell into Edward. We fell down the last three steps, into the foyer. I somehow ended up on top of Edward, with my legs on either side of his waist. When I realized the position I was in, I blushed furiously. But Edward started laughing, along with Jasper. Alice, on the other hand, looked absolutely livid!

She walked over to the stairs and grabbed her shoes, placing them in the boxes. "JASPER! GET YOUR SELF OVER HERE AND HELP ME WITH THESE BOXES!" she screeched through clenched teeth.

Jasper walked over to her and smiled sheepishly. They each grabbed a box and they headed up to her closet.

"Hello, beautiful" Edward said, drawing my attention from Alice and Jasper.

"Hello, stranger" I said. I leaned down and kissed him with all the passion that burned inside of me, just for him.

"Miss me?" he asked.

"Yes!" I leaned down and kissed his neck. "More than ever! In fact, I'm going to give you an exclusive tour of our bedroom."

"Oh, really?"

"Absolutely! Ooh! Ooh! Come look!" I squealed. I got up, took his hand, and lead him through the living room and kitchen, into the great room.

"It came in yesterday," I said, as we stood in the archway.

"Bella, this is beautiful! I love it, and I love you," he said, looking deep in to my eyes. He backed me up against the grand piano and lifted me on top of it. He stood between my legs, gazing at me.

"I know," I said teasingly. "And guess what?"

"What?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at me.

"I kind of love you, too," I chuckled.

"I know," he quipped.

"Come on! Let's get you moved in. We have plans for later!"

"Really? What?" he asked.

"Edward, do you actually think I would just tell you?"

"No, but it was worth a shot!"

I hopped down from the piano and started walking to the front door, knowing Edward would follow. Once I got to the foyer, I called up the stairs. "ALICE! JASPER! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON FOR CHRIST'S SAKE SO WE CAN GET MOVED IN AND UNPACKED! PLEASE!"

As the echo of my yell died away, I heard a series of 'thumps' and 'thuds' from their side of the hallway. They finally emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, fully-clothed and poorly composed.

"Couldn't you guys have waited until we had all of our boxes out of the moving van first?" Edward asked.

Alice and Jasper started laughing and said "Nope!" in unison.

We spent the better part of the day moving in and unpacking. Once we were almost done, I called up Emmett and Rosalie to see how they were coming along.

Rosalie answered on the second ring. "Hello?" she said sweetly.

"Hey, Rose! What's up?"

"Nothing really. Emmett broke a vase then cut his thumb on a piece of glass. Now, he's whining like a two year old who can't find their mommy in a mall," she said.

"Too bad I'm not there to witness it! Be a dear and grab the camera. Take lots of pictures and video for a lethal degree of blackmail!" I chuckled.

"Will do, Belly!"

"Well, anyway, we're going to order some pizza. You and Emmett should come over now."

"Okay. Let me just put on my pajamas, patch up Emmie, and we'll be right over!" Rose said.

"Alright, see you in a bit!"

"Bye!"

After I got off the phone, I looked in the utility drawer. Alice and I had stashed all the menus and business cards in it. I pulled out all the menus and laid them on the counter so Alice could choose where we should order the pizza from. Then I headed upstairs for a quick shower.

Once I got into the bedroom, I heard the shower was running. I cracked the door and saw Edward was in the shower. I acted quickly, stripping out of my work clothes. I pulled my hair down from the high pony tail it had been in all day. I grabbed my robe from the hook in the closet and draped it around me. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door loudly, so he would be aware of my presence.

"Room for two?" I asked seductively.

He froze momentarily from shock. We'd had a limited physical relationship and this was clearly over-stepping our strategically placed boundaries. "Only if the second party is you, love," he said, trying to call my bluff.

I let the robe drop just enough to expose my shoulders, took a small step towards the shower and shook my hair around me. "Me and only me."

He looked at me and arched an eyebrow in speculation before opening the shower door.

I walked up to him, put my fingertips on his chest and whispered in his ear. "Don't you think that was just a little too easy?" I pushed him farther into the shower, pulled my robe up and walked out the door.

When I got to the bed, I heard him yell. "Cheater!"

I had took a quick bath in the guest bathroom. I blow-dried my hair so it wouldn't be a frizzy mess and got dressed in one of Edwards t-shirts and a pair of my shorts. When I saw Edward in his pajama pants and a black undershirt, I made an internal promise to keep my clothes on … tonight.

"I'm going to get you back for that!" Edward said, as we made our way down the hall to the steps.

"Oh, I'm counting on it!"

"Okay, my darling. We shall see!"

"Remember when I said we have plans for later?"

"Yes, I do recall you saying something to that effect" he said playfully.

"Well, I had planned to get to them right after we had finished unpacking. But since we are sort of celebrating, we can go right after our guests leave. The later the better, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am!" he chuckled, as he saluted me.

"As you were, solider!" I quipped, as I walked past him to the steps.

He quickly caught me by my waist. "Bella, I absolutely adore your sense of humor. As if you could out run me!" he said as he kissed down my neck.

Once we were downstairs, I saw that the pizza, along with Rose and Emmett, were yet to arrive. Alice was in front of a cardboard box, unpacking the DVDs and putting them on a shelf. Jasper was on the recliner part of the sectional reading. I could just make out the title of the book … "The Fall of the House of Usher".

"Edgar Allen, again, I see," I said, taking a seat next to Jasper.

"Well, Bella, we can't all read that dribble _you_ call literature."

"Oh, dearest Jasper, you have yet to gain good taste in books. So sad," I said, shaking my head.

He laughed and put the book down. "And you, my darling Isabella, have yet to read something that has been published in … Oh, I don't know! The last 50 years!"

"Okay, Jazz. We will see. We can't have a read-off so I will just have to mop the floor with you in Halo."

"You are so on, Bella!" Jazz said.

Once the food arrived, Rose and Em finally showed up. We ate our pizza and watched _Mean Girls_. When the movie was over, Alice and Jasper said they would clean up. I headed up to my room and grabbed a blanket. As I was coming back downstairs, Alice and Jasper were on their way up.

I found Edward in the living room, sitting on the couch. I grabbed his hand. "Come on!" I sang, heading through the kitchen to the courtyard.

"Someone is excited!" he said.

"It should be you," I quipped.

I was sure he hadn't seen the courtyard yet and I wanted to be sure he got the best view. When we stepped onto the veranda, I heard him gasp. The courtyard was illuminated by the full moon, and the lighted fountain created a trickling sound all around us. I walked over to the end of the path, near soft grass under the magnolia tree. I spread the blanket out for us to lie down on.

I looked up at the stars and said, "Come look! This is amazing!" I waved him over.

He replied, "Yeah, you are!" He lay down on the blanket, pulling me with him. Once I had my head in the crook of his neck, I felt him kiss my hair. "I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you, too, Edward."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything!"

"Where do you see your self in five years?"

"That's easy … with you!" I answered.

He smiled and kissed my hand.

"Can I ask you the same question?"

"Surely you must know the answer to that!" he said. "I wouldn't be anywhere but with you, Bella. I don't think you fully understand what I mean when I tell you I don't make sense with out you."

"I know what you mean, I just …"

"You see that up there?" he asked, nodding towards the moon. "That's what you are to me. You light up my world with such brilliance, Bella. If I were to ever be without you, I wouldn't be able to see."

"Well, since that's the case, I will never leave you a blind man," I answered, as I kissed his chest.

"Thank you for this. I really wanted to be alone with you tonight, just to be together without responsibility nagging at me."

"You are so very welcome, Edward."

"So tell me, how was the summer for you? I mean, I never really got to ask you that," he said.

I sat up and looked him in the eyes with as much passion I could muster. "Edward, it was amazing! Of all the summer's I've ever had, this was probably the second best."

"Oh, really? What was the first?" he quizzed.

"When your family moved to Forks," I answered.

"Yeah, that was one of my favorites, too, but this is first for me," he chuckled.

"You know, I was looking out the window today and I saw this group of kids that reminded me of all of us that summer when you guys came."

**Flashback:**

"….eighteen…nineteen…twenty… ready or not, here I come!" Alice shouted.

I was hiding behind the big oak tree in Alice's backyard with Jasper. It was just another hot, muggy, summer day and we were all bored stiff. We decided 'hide and go seek' was the best way to go.

"Bella, be really, really still," Jasper said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because there is a huge bee right by your arm," he answered.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!" I screamed.

"I found you!" Alice sang.

I started running towards the house when I saw a huge blue water balloon coming straight for me. I luckily dodged that one, but then I tripped on the root of the tree and heard the audible snap of my wrist then I tried to break my fall.

"EMMETT! YOU BETTER RUN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL …"

Suddenly I felt the searing pain in my wrist. "AAAAAAAHHHH!" I bellowed. I fell to my knees and began to cry so hard I thought the ground was shaking. Within three seconds Alice, Jasper, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett were all out of hiding and encircling me

"Edward, go get dad! Now!" Alice said.

"EMMETT, START RUNNING!!!!" I said through my sobs.

**End of flack back:**

"Yeah, I remember you were hunting Emmett down for days! And then you agreed to a truce if he wore one of Alice's sundresses for a day," Edward chuckled.

"I think I still have the pictures!" I giggled.

"Edward, how do you feel about kids?" I asked. I felt him tense beneath me. "Not right now, silly!" I giggled.

"Oh!" he relaxed. "Umm … I think I want a girl and a boy. Emelia with an 'E' for a girl and Franco for a boy."

"Wow, Edward! Those are beautiful names!"

We drifted into a peaceful silence, lost in our own thoughts for a while. I fell asleep under the stars and Edward carried me upstairs, putting me into bed. I was vaguely aware of Edward speaking.

"Isabella, I love you so much."

I felt him give me a kiss and then I drifted into a deep sleep, feeling whole again with him sleeping right next to me.

A/N: hope you liked it R&R thank a bunch…and to my awesome bets My-Bella….you rock!


	7. Saturday morning tease and coffee

A/N: I don't own anything!...but you know that!...right?...ok …here it is I know it sucks but it was either this or wait another week.

EPOV:

It's been about two weeks since classes have started and all of us have been living together. Alice and Bella went back to their jobs that they had at some magazine, they were in different departments now - Alice was working as an editorial design trainee and Bella was working as a Jr. Editor intern- so that made their schedules even more complicated.

Between school, work, and other people Bella and I were busy, except for now that is I was sitting in the living room reading while Bella was at my side typing away on her laptop. It was the weekend and both of us had just turned in big essays to our psych professor, so I was wondering what she could possibly be working on.

I turned to look at her and asked "what are you working on, love?"

She looked up at me her deep eyes brimming with attentiveness "oh im just typing" she answered reluctantly.

"Really? Typing what?"

"Well, it's just an idea that I've been mulling over for a few months now and I just wanted to put it down on paper…..really its nothing" she hesitated on the last part

There was worry turmoil deep in her eyes; I could see that, what I couldn't see is why she was so worried. I love Bella so much I just wish she would see her self more clearly, she has such an amazing strength in everything she dose. She just can't see it, she cant se what everyone around her sees.

"Care to elaborate on what exactly 'nothing' is? I quizzed

She eyed me cautiously "I have been thinking….with my literary major and all I just might write a book some day….so right now im just working on a dream rough draft" she said

I smiled, she was absolutely brilliant! I always knew that she was a great writer after reading one of her papers in high school on 'theory of human nature', even all those years ago she showed great potential.

"Wow Bella! That is a wonderful idea….what is it about?" I asked curiously

"Well it's about fear, learning to cope with things, and eventually accepting things in life. Its sort of an autobiography at the moment" she smiled

"Wow! Sounds like pure unadulterated genius" I teased

"Hey! Watch it Mr.Masen! You just _could _be talking to the next Jane Austen!" she quipped while poking me im my chest

"Well then miss Austen do you mind me asking for your autograph?" I continued wile nudging her shoulder with the book I was reading

She looked me in the eyes while wearing a wicked little smile on her gloriously beautiful face, and then sat her laptop on the coffee table.

"What are you doing-"

Next thing I knew I was on my back and Bella was on top of me with her legs on either side of my waist. She kissed down my neck and lifted my shirt and placed small kissed on my stomach in unidentifiable patterns "B" she sang while continuing the pattern of kisses "E" - "L"- "L"-"A"

She kept going lower and lower, until I moaned. That's when she hopped off me, picked up her laptop, continued typing and giggled. I looked at her curiously.

"All is fair in love and teasing" She shrugged

I let my body fall back on the couch "Ouch! Bella really…That hurts!" I said while rubbing my heart

"Aww! You poor thing…would you like me to come over there and make it all better?" she asked not looking you from her computer screen

"No! You stay over there! You are dangerous!" I chuckled

"Thought so" she said

Just then the door opened and Alice danced in singing

"_Sun is in the sky oh why oh why? Would I wanna be anywhere else  
when you look with your eyes everything seems nice, but if you look twice  
you can see its all lies" _**(A/N: Lilly Allen-LDN its so alice!)**

When Bella started laughing Alice looked up and smiled "Oh! Hey guys what's up?"

"Nothing much aly, just winning a war, teaching lessons; you know that sort of thing!" Bella said

Alice got the same grin that Bella had a little while ago and said "oh really? How's that working out for ya?"

"I think he knows better now…" Bella hissed as she cut her eyes at me

"Ah, I have taught you well young one…Soon we will take over the world!" Alice mused

"I really want some coffee, Alice do you think you could postpone the Bella Barbie session for coffee with me?" Bella asked hopefully

"Hmmmm…..I don't know belly I was planning to do major work on you"

"Please aly….my treat!"

"Fine! But I want a scone _and _we have to make another stop while were out!" she huffed

"Alright, be ready in 15…ill drive?" Bella asked

"Yeah, yeah"

With that Alice stomped up the stairs and slammed the door.

I looked at Bella who was hurriedly typing away on her laptop, she was so beautiful when determination wan sparked in her and she had fire burning in her all-seeing deep brazen pools of brown. Her hair was tossed into a loose bun allowing free strands of hair to fall where they may, her black framed 'naughty librarian' glasses sat perfectly on her nose, she was wearing a cream colored cardigan and grey pajama pants that hung low on her tiny hips, exposing a slither of her flat stomach.

She noticed me eyeing her hungrily and stroked the side of my face, brushing a piece of stray hair that has fallen in my eyes, I leaned down and brushed my lips to hers, she closed the distance and captured me in a passionate kiss.

With Bella's hands in my hair and my hands on her hips I realized that if we kept this up there would be a price to pay- better known as Alice!-don't get me wrong it was defiantly worth it but still…..the wrath….

"Bella" I mumbled against her lips

"Hmmm"

"You have to go get ready"

"Damn it!" she hissed as she pulled away

"Your idea to go get coffee in the middle of the day!" I teased

She hit save on her laptop then closed it, sitting it on the coffee table. As she stood she stretched and grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and threw it at me, hitting me in the face

"Ouch! Bella!" I whined

"Aaaaaw! Did the big baby get lint in his eye?"

"Yes!" I pouted as I put on my best puppy dog eyes

She smiled and grabbed another throw pillow and tossed it at me and said "Too Bad!" then took off running up the stairs.

"That is not fair Isabella Cullen!" I yelled as I ran up the steps

I yelled this before I thought about it…realization washed over me as I saw Bella standing at the top of the stairs looking at me with curiosity burning deep in her eyes.

'Why did I call her that' I thought as I kicked my self mentally

**A/N: so there it is another chapter…its short I know but I really had to force it and as many of you know when you have to force writing it is very tiring…as of now it is 4:33 am and I have been working on this chapter for about a week…I know its sad!...but in other news REVIEWS ARE DOWN!!!!...I AM VERY SAD…I WANT TO KNOW IS SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE LAST CHAPTER WAS 11 PAGES OF MY BEST AND I ONLY GOT 5 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...please review…it makes me happy [**

**-Paige**


	8. The field

A/N: hey I got nice reviews for last chapter….thank you all sooo much…so here it is….A treat to all my lovely reviewers……my baby…my pride and joy….my story…

_Previously_

"_That is not fair Isabella Cullen!" I yelled as I ran up the steps_

_I yelled this before I thought about it…realization washed over me as I saw Bella standing at the top of the stairs looking at me with curiosity burning deep in her eyes._

'_Why did I call her that' I thought as I kicked my self mentally_

EPOV:

She stopped dead in her tracks at the top of the stairs, turned back to look at me, and cocked her head to the side ever so slightly. She had a blank expression and her eyes were filled with confusion and something else I couldn't put my finger on…What was that? Amusement?

I decided that now would be a great time to speak. "I…I…I'm sorr-"

She walked down the five steps that separated us and put one finger against my lips and said, "Shhhh." She was standing there and her one finger turned to a whole hand over my lips. She smirked then she walked up the stairs to our bedroom and closed the door.

I wasn't sure of what to do. I mean, that was purely accidental. But what did it mean?

I had never really consciously thought about marriage…before now...I love Bella, but surely we can't be ready for marriage now…Even though it would be the most blissful thing I could ever imagine happening to me. God, I love her so much! What's not to love? She loves everyone she meets, she is brilliant in anything and everything she does, she is beautiful inside and out, and I couldn't imagine a better person to be intensely in love with.

I found myself back on the couch letting my thoughts meander over the issue at hand. Just then, Alice and Bella came down the stairs giggling and talking as if nothing had happened. Of course, Alice didn't know. Did she? She is known to 'see' things. Just the thought of Alice knowing about this made me blush furiously.

"What's this? The ever composed Edward Anthony Cullen is blushing?" she teased.

Bella giggled as she fanned herself. "Oh, my!"

"HEY, BELLA! WHAT'S HOTTER THAN HOT?" Alice asked loudly.

"Oh, I don't know, Aly. Could it be a blushing Edward Cullen?"

"DING! DING! DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!" Alice shouted.

"Bye!" I finally said.

"Bye, love. See you in a bit!" Bella chuckled as she and Alice left.

When the door slammed shut, the silence rang in my ears and I instantly felt the ache in my chest that always occurred when Bella left my side. I decided that I would play the piano for a while to distract myself. I walked in to the great room, sat at the piano bench and put my fingers on the keys. I began to play 'avril14th' as I mulled over where my life was headed. In that moment, I made a silent promise to myself that wherever life led me I would always come back to Bella. Our love was the only thing I wanted to have at the end of the day…..that was all I wanted, all I needed, and all that mattered.

_Don't want to be an American idiot.  
Don't want a nation under the new mania  
and can you hear the sound of hysteria?  
The subliminal mind fuck America (American idiot green day)_

"Ah, Emmett," I chuckled to myself, as I made my way to the coffee table in the living room where my phone was ringing. "Yes, Emmett," I said after picking my phone up from beside Bella's laptop.

"Hey, Eddie! How's it hangin'?"

"It's hanging irritated as of now, dearest cousin of mine," I sneered.

"Maybe you should get Bells to help you out with that one!" he boomed in to the phone.

"Emmett, is there a reason you called?" I asked, irritated by his joking.

"Oh, yeah. Jazz and I are going to the gym in about two hours, you in?"

I thought about an afternoon with Emmett and Jazz and since Bella wouldn't be home soon, it didn't sound like a bad idea. "Yeah, I'm in. See you soon."

"Later, Eddie spaghetti!"

I flinched as I snapped the phone shut. Emmett hadn't called me 'Eddie spaghetti' since grade school, and even then it would always result in a wrestling match.

'_I will have to get him back' _I thought to myself as I placed my cell back on the coffee table next to Bella's laptop.

When I sat back up, I looked at the coffee table again…There it was. Bella's laptop. I just sat there, staring at it, thinking about my next move. With every passing moment, my curiosity grew and grew, and grew, until I reached down and ran my fingers intently around the edges. I quickly opened it to her home screen, which was a picture of all us in the field we found in Forks.

_**Flash Back:**_

"How the hell did we get lost?" Emmett bellowed for the hundredth time in the last hour.

"Em! Shut it! You asking how we got here isn't going to take us back!" Alice hissed.

"Hey, guys, I see light breaking over here!" Jasper said, as he moved to the front to lead us out of the dense forest.

We had all been sitting around at our house when Bella suggested we all go hiking for a while since the sun was making an appearance in our dreary little town. With Carlisle and Esme gone on a much needed vacation, there wasn't much that we could do. Everyone agreed, accept for Alice and Rosalie who didn't want to get dirty and sweaty from the exploration. In order to entice them to participate, Bella promised they could buy her a new summer wardrobe. With that, Alice and Rosalie changed clothes and Bella went home to grab her guitar. We took off into the western side of our backyard, not knowing where the hell we were going. It was now two hours later and here we were.

"You better hope to God you are right, Jazz!" Rosalie threatened.

"Oh, come on you, guys! We're not going to get lost and eat each other for food, alright. So just calm down!" Bella said trying to calm the hostile group.

Right after Bella said those words, we stepped out of the forest and into the light. At that very moment I heard a collective gasp and then silence.

Bella was the first to speak. "Oh, my! It's amazing!" Bella said with awe in her voice as she walked further into the meadow that stretched out before us.

Alice followed with "Who would have known something like this is behind all that?"

Jasper walked slowly behind Alice, just taking it all in, and Emmett and I took small steps farther into the meadow.

The meadow was beautiful to say the least. There was golden wheat up to our waists that sprawled out to the other edge of the forest. The sun shined down brilliantly, creating a summer like quality. There was no sign of anything there, not wildlife, no insects, no weeds, no nothing…Just a calm radiance that filled us up with a tranquility that couldn't be matched.

I saw Bella walking to the center of the meadow as she slowly spun around looking at everything in admiration. Then she stopped, put her guitar on the grass and laid down on the soft grass letting her hair cascade around her. I looked around -to stop myself from staring any longer- and saw the others making their way to her side and one by one they laid down.

"Edward, over here" Bella called.

I walked over to them to find that they had laid down in a perfect circle, connected by their heads, leaving a gap next to Bella. As I came in to view, Bella looked up and patted the empty spot next to her. I obliged and laid down with them. We stayed this way for about fifteen minutes, just enjoying the silence, until Alice spoke.

"Let's play truth," Alice said.

"You first, Aly," I said.

"Alright," she huffed.

"Who was your first kiss?" I asked since it was the first thing that came to mind.

"Next!" Alice giggled.

"Nope! You have to answer it!"

"Aw! Is little Aly afraid of a big bad question?" Emmett teased.

"No," she sighed. "Mike Newton. There! You happy now?"

"Eeew!"

"Eeeek!"

"The vile one?"

"Really, Alice?"

"Yes!"

"Yuck!"

"Alright, Eddie! You're next!" Alice squealed.

I mentally kicked myself for thinking she wouldn't seek revenge.

We played until the silence took over us again and Bella said, "We should make this a tradition for every two weeks."

"Yeah!"

"Okay."

"I could do that."

"Alright."

"Good idea, Bells!"

"Sure."

Moments later, I looked up to see the sun was getting lower in the sky. Bella sat up, letting the sun illuminate her beauty. She crossed her legs and reached for her guitar. First she strummed a few cords and then a sweet melody came in and Bella started to sing:

_One by one,  
the days fall beside us  
like yellow leaves  
We have no conscience  
Oh, what we're becoming_

Month by month,  
the rings on our tree trunks,  
like old wise eyes,  
grow wider and winter  
lends them a dead disguise

Now time- like an ocean  
knows tide - like a notion  
to toss about the house  
and lose inside the couch  
And piles of our thoughts  
run miles in the dark  
just tryin to get home

Age by age,  
we rhyme with our seasons'  
rehearsed routines  
Still turning  
and returning

Now I'm wide as the ocean  
Now I bleed roses  
And you are just a mark  
on the map of my past  
But I am a road  
I wind along alone  
all day until the coast

_(Gregory and the hawk- seasons poem)_

She finished and looked up, seeing us mimicking her sitting position as our mouths hung open in awe. She was amazing in every single way at that moment. I felt a pull towards her, but I fought it because I wasn't sure she would respond well to it.

"What?" she asked obliviously.

"_What_? That was incredible that's what!" Jasper said enthusiastically. Alice was truly beginning to rub off on him.

"Yeah, that was beautiful. You looked like a goddess of music while you were playing," I said looking at her in wonder.

"I completely agree to both statements," Rosalie said.

"When did you learn to play?" Emmett asked.

"I just messed around a little with it when my mum had a musical phase," Bella chuckled.

"Wow, you are really good, Bella" Jasper commented.

As we were leaving, Alice asked, "What do we call this place?"

"The field," Bella suggested.

We all agreed and continued to make or way home while Alice hummed Bella's song.

_**End of Flash back:**_

I broke from my trance and focused on the task at hand. I saw the minimized program at the bottom of the screen, as I moved my mouse over to the minimized Microsoft word program I thought to my self, _Should I or shouldn't I?_

A/N: cliffy madness! I want you guys to tell me in your reviews what Edward should do…Should he or shouldn't he??... I would like to thank my reviewers who considered my feelings and gave me more reviews that last chapter!...and my awesome beta My-Bella….you rock…

**Sneak peak**

"Edward! I'm hom-" I walked farther in to the living room and I couldn't believe my eyes. "Edward?"


	9. London bridges, falling down

A/N: thank you all SOOOO much for the reviews in the last chapter…it really made me happy... So here it is the long awaited ch9…enjoy and review please!!!! The song for this chapter is "Don't Panic" by Coldplay.

Oh yeah…in my FFprofile there is a picture of the field mentioned in the last chapter!!! Go check it.

_Previously: _I broke from my trance and focused on the task at hand. I saw the minimized program at the bottom of the screen, as I moved my mouse over to the minimized Microsoft word program I thought to my self, _Should I or shouldn't I?_

EPOV:

Right when I clicked the minimized program in the taskbar, I heard the sound of my impending doom…Bella's voice…_shit_.

"Edward, I'm hom-" She walked to my side, and looked down on my frozen figure. "Edward?" she called, her voice alone held shock and pain.

I didn't dare meet her gaze.

She gently pulled her laptop from my hands, closed it and set it back on the coffee table.

When I looked up at her, she was walking towards the door, so I called out to her. "Bella!"

She paused, as if she were contemplating something, and then kept walking, slamming the door as she left.

BPOV:

"Edward, I'm hom-" I stopped speaking, sure that what I was seeing before me had to be a dream!

As I walked to his side, I thought to myself, '_Nope, this is definitely not a dream…this is a nightmare_.

"Edward?" I called out to him, but he sat there frozen, like a perfect statue…perfectly guilty.

He just sat there, staring for a moment. I gently took my laptop from him and placed it back on the coffee table. I felt the tears coming, so I turned around and went straight for the door.

"Bella!"

Oh, now he wants to talk! A thousand thoughts were flying through my mind by the time I got in my car and sped off.

How could he do this? I mean, there was a reason that I didn't show him what I wrote in the first place. Did he not think about that? I love him so much, but really there is _some_ secrecy when you are in a relationship, right?

As I was speeding down the road, going no place in particular, I noticed a bridge on my right. I fishtailed the car and pulled over. I got my guitar out of my trunk, and sat down on the edge of the cobblestone bridge, and began to strum.

I sat there on the edge, with my feet dangling off, for an immeasurable length of time, just letting the sound of the rushing water beneath me carry me miles from my dilemma.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated. I looked at the caller id, which said 'pixie', and I decided to answer it.

"Hello?" I said warily.

"Bella, oh god! Where in the hell are you?!?!?!" she screamed.

"I'm at…" I realized I didn't know where I was, so I looked around, letting my eyes really roam over every detail of this place. Finally, my eyes rested on a sign under a tree that read 'Lithium Heights Bridge'. "Yeah, Alice I'm at 'Lithium Heights Bridge'. I will be home as soon as I can."

"Bella, are you okay? I mean, Edward-"

"Alice, I will be home as soon as I can!" I said, cutting her off.

"I'm just worried okay…We called you about a hundred times…" She spoke in a small voice.

"Alice, I love you and I _will_ be home as soon as_ I_ can."

"Bye, Bella."

I hung up my phone, only to see that they had all taken turns calling me. I had twenty-five missed calls – five from each of them. I closed my phone, put it in my pocket, and looked up at the sky that was slowly turning grey instead of black…_rain_...I could smell it in the air now. I started to get up, careful not to lose my footing, but with expert clumsiness, I managed to get the tip of my foot stuck under the cuff of my jeans.

There was a silence and a stillness that encumbered me before my body collided with the water. I could only hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest, as if it were trying to break free. I let out a yelp, just as I was immersed into the ridged and icy waters.

The water pulled me deeper and deeper, like it was literally drinking me in. I was temporarily incapacitated by the coldness. But when I opened my eyes, I looked into the deep green that surrounded me, and I saw a light that danced down here, like a thousand pearl colored sequins. As I looked harder, I saw something tearing through the light – coming straight for me. Then, I was met with a pair of familiar and amazing emerald colored eyes that held worry, love and fear. It was _him_…Staring into those eyes, it was as if time stood still…Just for us. Suddenly, I felt a lifting sensation as my mind ebbed away from reason. Then there was nothing but darkness…

**(A/N: sooo tempted to end it here…but I wont…keep reading)**

"BELLA! BELLA!" the voice called out to this 'Bella' person.

"Oh god! Bella, please wake up!" he sobbed.

My eyes flickered open and suddenly, I felt the pressure on my chest begin to build and build, until my body was being wretched over in deep heaves, as the water made its way from my lungs onto the soil beside me.

When the water finally stopped coming out, I inhaled deeply and fell back onto the ground, trying to catch my breath. I looked up at the sky and noticed that the once grey sky had turned a beautiful peach color with the setting of the sun.

"Bella?" the voice called out to me yet again.

I tried to sit up, but it hurt – A lot. So, I just moved my head so that I could see him. There he was, Adonis himself, _Edward_. His wet shirt clung to his body, exposing his sinfully gorgeous chest. His bronze colored hair looked even darker when it was wet, and it was disheveled with a piece of it dangling in front of his eyes. Oh, his eyes! They were usually so bright, but were now filled with worry and pain. In fact, he looked so close to tears it hurt me to look at him any longer, so I returned my eyes to the pale pink sky above me.

"Bella, please look at me?" he pleaded.

That broke me. The tears started coming down my face like they would never stop. A sob escaped my chest, and I sat up and looked at him, only to discover that he was crying, too. I sniffled, wiped my eyes, and raised my hand to his face, wiping away his tears, too.

"Why are you crying?" I croaked.

"Because Bella, _I _drove you to commit suicide," he said.

"What?" I asked him incredulously.

"I'm supposed to protect you, not drive you off the edge," he admitted, as another set of tears escaped his eyes.

I threw my head back in laughter and let my body follow soon after. He thought I tried to kill myself!?! Just the thought was hilarious; I mean, he made it seem like he murdered my first born instead of invading my privacy…This was true comedy.

"Oh, my God, Bella, you've gone mad," he whispered.

That just brought on another wave of hysterics, once that subsided, I sat up, took his face in my hands, and ran my thumbs over his tear trails.

"Oh, darling, as if I could ever leave you," I chuckled.

"What?" he asked, eyeing me doubtfully.

"Edward, you invaded my privacy. You didn't murder my first born!" I said.

"So, why did you jump?" he quizzed.

"I didn't jump! I was angry, so I drove aimlessly for awhile, and when I passed this place, I felt a calm wash over me. So I pulled over, got out my guitar, sat on the edge of the bridge and strummed a bit while I mulled things over. Then my phone rang, and Alice called and told me that she was worried. I was getting ready to leave when I fell and I guess you know the rest…How are you here? How did you save me?" I asked after my rambling.

He looked at me with slight amusement. "Well, when you took off, I followed you, but then this stupid taxi cab got in front of me and I lost you. I drove in the general direction I saw you go, and then I called Alice and told her what happened. I kept driving, and after a few hours, I got a call from Alice and she told me where to find you. I happened to be really close, and when I got out of the car and walked over to yours, that was when I heard a scream and then a loud splash. I ran to where your guitar was left on the ground and then without thinking, I jumped in. I saw you in the water and you looked so peaceful, and amazing that if it weren't for the fact that you were drowning at the time, I would have admired such a display of effortless grace and beauty." He chuckled the last part.

"And here we are…" I said.

"Bella, about before-"

"Edward, we were both wrong. You shouldn't have looked, but I should have reacted better than running away like a child. I don't know, it's just that sometimes, I get this claustrophobic feeling, like I have no room to breathe. Edward, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with us – believe me, I would spend every minute of my time in your arms, but I just have to have some privacy and time. If I ever hide anything from you, it's for a good reason. Just give me time to work up to telling you about whatever it is. With my writing, I'm really not sure about anything, so I'm self-conscious about it…" I explained.

"I'm so sorry, Bella… I just really want to be apart of your everything," he said with his eyes downcast.

I took his face in my hands so that we were looking into each others eyes. "Edward, you are my world; without you, I am nothing," I said fiercely.

With that, he kissed me passionately. "Let's go home," he said.

"Besides, I would have shown you anyway!" I laughed, as we got of the ground and started walking to our cars.

EPOV:

"Can we go to bed? I'm really tired" Bella begged our friends and family

"I would be, too, if I were you," Emmett said, after we regaled him with the story of today's events.

"Yeah! After just hearing about that, _I'm_ exhausted!" Jasper added.

"Alright, then! Goodnight!" Bella called, as we headed up the stairs.

Once we were in the room, Bella let go of my hand and gathered her night clothes. When she found everything she needed, she walked back to me. "I'm going to take another shower. I don't know why, but I just feel really dirty after my little 'swim'," she laughed.

"Alright, I'll be right here when you are done," I said while gesturing to the bed.

She gave me a sweet kiss on the lips and then danced off to the bathroom. I took off my shirt and changed into my pajama pants, then crawled into bed. While waiting for Bella, I closed my eyes and thought about her in the water today. She was so beautiful with her hair spread out in a lovely disarray of brown, and her limbs floating so carefree. She looked like a falling angel.

I heard the door click and then I felt the bed shake lightly. Once the light was off, I felt her warm lips against both my eye lids. "Good night. I love you so much," she whispered.

I wrapped my arms around her. "I love you, more."

She laughed, turned around so she was facing me, and then kissed me. "I highly doubt that," she said wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Prove it," I quipped.

"Do you really want to go there while we are both half-naked?" she asked with one eyebrow raised.

I lifted the sheets up and looked at her body. She was defiantly half-naked, clad in underwear and a grey cami-top. I lowered the covers and looked back at her face, seeing the wicked smile plastered on it.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

She laughed. "Thought so!"

She took her hand and ran it up and down my torso, causing me to groan and bite my lip.

"Bella, please! Must you be so cruel?"

"Yes, my dearest Edward. How else will I amuse myself?" she asked in a seductive voice.

"Well, most people play chess!"

"Haven't you learned? I'm not most people. And besides, this is a chess game. You're just not playing!"

I pouted and she kissed my bottom lip.

"Can I ask you something?" she inquired.

"Anything," I breathed.

"What did you mean this morning when you called me 'Isabella Cullen'?"

Immediately, my heart beat quickened. What if she rejected the idea of us being together forever…I didn't think I could survive that.

"I meant that one day, you will be my wife. I will make you an official Cullen, my love," I admitted.

"And one day, I will gladly accept," she smiled.

My heart melted at those words…so I said the only thing there was left to say

"Sleep now, my future Mrs.Cullen."

"Thank you for saving me, Mr. Cullen."

And with that, we both drifted far away from today's catastrophes and tomorrows obligations.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that…PLEASE REVIEW!!!!...I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO!...it gets me through the week…there is a picture of 'lithium heights bridge' on my page…


	10. a job for your hands

A/N: thanks for all the reviews you guys are awesome! I hope you enjoyed my visual aids of the bridge and the field on my profile! Okay here it is…. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer_- I am not Stephenie Meyer yaada yadda yadda…yeah yeah…I don't own!

_Warning_- LEMONS! Hot!

BPOV:

"Bella! Bella!" a tiny tinkling bell voice called…I knew exactly who this voice belonged to.

"Hhmmpf?" I replied as well as non-coherent thought would allow.

I felt the bed start to shake, ruining my mood for sleep, putting me more in the mood for ripping Alice's little-

"Ouch!"

"Okay that's it!" I yelled, getting ready to unleash my wrath. As I sat upright, I noticed everyone in our room, and in true Bella fashion, I blushed a fierce crimson.

"Good morning, Bells!" Emmett boomed.

"Ouch! Damn it, Em! Use your indoor voice!" I yelled.

"Sorry, Bells" he said in a loud whisper.

"It's okay…Now for the rest of you! Why in the hell are you in here at-" I looked over at the clock. "9:00!? What the hell is wrong with all you...Goodnight!"

Just as my head hit the ever-so-soft pillow, I realized that I woke up alone…Well, not completely alone...But I woke up with nothing next to me …_Edward_….Where was he?

I sat up again, noticing none of them had moved an inch…Unbelievable…

"Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice…Look at me. Why are you in here, and where is Edward?" I asked, sounding like a mother reprimanding a defiant child.

They all looked at me and silently decided that Alice would be spokesperson for the group.

Alice looked at me with excitement and glee. "Well, we are in here because we have a plan for our day of freedom!"

I looked at her in amusement. "Oh?"

"Yes! We are going to 'Wonder Land'!"

"Oh, joy" I said sarcastically.

"Aren't you the least bit excited, Belly?" Alice pouted, with her eyes wide and bottom lip jutted out a little.

Errrrrr…She used the pout! I don't believe she used that against me!

"Where's Edward?" I asked impatiently.

"_He_ is right here," Edward said sexily from the bathroom door with a towel wrapped around his waist .

"Eww, man! Put your junk away!" Emmett fussed.

"Come on!" Jasper cried.

"Umm…eeww" Alice said, looking very uncomfortable.

"Okay, that's my cue to leave," Rosalie said.

Since no one but Rose made a motion to move, I stood up, giving everyone in the room a lovely view of my bedroom attire- a.k.a. a cami and underwear. I walked over to Edward, grinning wickedly and giving him the sign for 'go with it'.

"Eew, Bells!" Emmett groaned.

"Ummm…What is it with people in this room?" Jasper questioned, sounding distraught.

"Again! My cue to leave" Rosalie remarked.

Alice whistled loudly. "Bella booty!"

It was Alice's reaction to my attire was that stopped me dead in my tracks. I turned and looked at her, noticing that everyone else was doing the same thing.

"What?" Alice chirped.

I rolled my eyes and remembered I was on a mission to get everyone out of this room! I walked right up to Edward and positioned myself directly in front of him. I grabbed the front of his towel while taking another step, closing the distance between our bodies. I wrapped his towel around both of our waists.

Edward groaned in response, which forced Rosalie to exit our room. I smiled at my mild accomplishment and decided that I would have to take this a step further to get the rest of them out. Thinking quickly, I flipped my hair to the side, exposing my face to everyone in the room. I started to suck on Edward's neck, while grinding my hips against his now erect member beneath the towel, causing another delicious moan to escape his throat.

After I did this, I heard the door slam as Emmett's voice boomed through the house. "Freaks!"

I looked around the room, and to my delight, there were only two people left in it…Me and the Adonis in front of me.

I put some space between our bodies, noticing how hard Edward was against me, causing me to grow moist in my underwear.

He looked me in the eye. "What was that?" he breathed.

"_That_, my love, was me removing four unwanted people from our room so I could have you all to myself!"

The crooked grin that I loved so much plastered itself across his beautiful face. "Well, now that you have me here, whatever are you going to do with me?"

"This."

I grabbed his solid member and began to stroke very slowly, gaining a rhythm with every pump. His breathing hitched and then he started panting. He let his eyes close and his head fall back against the wall, allowing the pleasure to consume his entire being. I toyed with him, stopping and going; quick-quick-slow like a dance step, and soon enough, he moaned my name and released into my hand.

Once I had his fluid essence pooling in my hand, I raised my hand to my mouth and licked very teasingly. I nibbled on Edward's earlobe while whispering in a seductive voice. "You taste so delicious."

EPOV:

"I wonder how _you_ taste," I said back, in a voice that dripped sex.

I took her by surprise and lifted her on to the bed. Once she was on the bed, with her legs hanging over the edge, I lifted her shirt, pulling her bra off with it. I took in the sight of her…She was a goddess! Aphrodite incarnate! I kissed and sucked both of her breasts and made my way down her body, until I came to the place where I wanted to be most…

BPOV:

He kissed and sucked down my body, then placed sweet kisses on my inner thighs and licked until he reached my soaked core. I silently thanked God that Alice had insisted that I get a Brazilian wax as soon as the boys made a transfer to our school.

He started out slowly licking and sucking on my swollen clit, and then alternated by inserting his fingers. His fingers were magic! I mean, if this was just his fingers, I wondered how thrilling he was with other parts of his body.

"Oh, God!" I moaned, as I felt the tightening in the pit of my stomach begin to pulsate through my entire body. Suddenly, I felt my world catch fire, engulfing every coherent though that ever had a possibility of forming.

Once I reached my release, he came back up to my face. "You taste absolutely amazing love,"

I laughed. "You _are_ amazing!"

"I love you," he said, looking deep into my eyes .

"I love you, more," I answered, kissing him.

"I doubt that!"

"Let's agree to disagree," I smiled

"Agreed!"

"You should probably get dressed, and I should probably get in the shower before Alice comes and tears us to shreds," I said.

"Probably…Or we could try for a second round," he said in a silky voice, earning a shiver from me.

"Mmmm…Keep talking like that, and you will be in trouble, Mr. Cullen!"

"Oh, well, then. Feel free to punish me, future Mrs. Cullen!" he quipped.

"Really?" I asked, as I kissed down his bare chest making a path down to his groin.

"Mmmm…y-yeah" he said – more like moaned!

"Nope!" I sang, as I got up and ran to the bathroom for a shower.

"Uggghh! Not fair!" I heard him groan as I closed the bathroom door.

As I showered, rubbing in my coconut and vanilla shampoo, I thought about what Alice had said before we made them leave. She had mentioned something about 'wonderland'. I laughed at the thought of _Alice in Wonderland_.

A/N: hope you liked it!. Please! Please! review and make me happy. I would like to thank 'my-Bella' and 'santi911' for their help.


	11. soul meets body

A/N: hey every one thanks you all for your support in the form of reviews…here is the new chapter… enjoy

A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you all for your support in the form of reviews…Here is the new chapter…Enjoy!

_Previously: _As I showered, rubbing in my coconut and vanilla shampoo, I thought about what Alice had said before we made them leave. She had mentioned something about 'wonderland'. I laughed at the thought of _Alice in Wonderland_.

EPOV:

Once Bella was in the shower, I shuffled around the room to find clothes. I came across some ripped grey jeans, and a black and red tee shirt that said 'inspi(red)'. As soon as I was dressed, I ran down stairs in search of a little thing they call Alice.

"Alice," I called, as I passed Emmett and Jasper in the living room, playing 'Guitar Hero' yet again.

"That's my name!" Alice said in a sing song voice, skipping towards me with a bowl of popcorn in her hand.

"Do you mind telling me what torture you have planned for all of us?" I asked.

"Oh no, brother! You will have to wait like the rest of them," she answered putting some of the bowl's contents into her mouth.

"Alice, come on!" I pleaded with a pout.

"Nope!" she said, popping the 'p'.

Just then, Bella bounded down the steps, looking just as gorgeous as always. She was wearing grey 'soffe' short shorts and a perfect fit, blue, v-neck baby tee.

As soon as she spotted Alice, she marched over and said, "What the hell is 'Alice in Wonderland'?"

"Hold your horses! We will get there soon enough my friend" Alice replied with some sort of accent.

"Can we talk about it before we 'get there'?" Bella quipped, putting air quotations around 'get there'.

"Alright fine! HEY EVERYONE, MEETING IN THE KITCHEN! NOW!" Alice yelled.

As Alice stomped into the kitchen, I went up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her small frame.

"Hello, stranger," she said not even turning to see who it was.

"How did you know?" I asked, kissing behind her ear.

"No one other than you could ever fit so perfectly with me," she said nonchalantly.

"I love you so much," I whispered in her ear.

"I love you, too."

She took my hand that was resting at her waist and led me to the kitchen where the others had gathered. Once I was leaning against the back wall of the kitchen, with Bella resting with her back to my chest, Alice started to speak.

"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to celebrate the union of—"

"My hand to Alice's cheek if she doesn't get on with it!" Rose interrupted, causing us all to laugh.

Alice shot Rose a death glare and continued. "So tonight we _are_ going to 'Alice in Wonderland', the new club that they had been working on when we moved up here. We will go to dinner at 'Bed'—that restaurant downtown that I read about in the times—we'll leave around eight-ish. Bella and Rosalie, meet in my room _promptly_ at four forty-five. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett be dressed—in the outfits laid out for you—and ready to go at seven-thirty, and be in the living room at eight!" She spoke with such authority that we couldn't do anything but nod.

"Alrighty then! Now that, that is settled, you are all dismissed," Alice said.

Rosalie and Emmett headed to the guest bedroom—where they spent most weekends—to do God knows what. Alice and Jasper went to the living room to play 'Guitar Hero', and I looked down into Bella's brazen, mahogany eyes and got lost yet again…

She smiled at me. "What?"

I just shook my head to try and clear it of the daze Bella always put me in.

"Do you want to just hang out in the courtyard for awhile?" I asked her, knowing that was one of her favorite places to be.

She smiled brilliantly. "Absolutely!"

As she ran upstairs to grab the usual supplies for lounging in the courtyard—favorite soft blanket, guitar, composition book, and the book I was currently reading—I waited on the landing for her. In a matter of seconds, she returned with a tote and her guitar.

When she reached me, I stuck my arm out for her to hook with hers. "Shall we?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Come on, Sir Lancelot. You are too much."

"You know you love it," I quipped.

"More than you know," she replied as she gazed into my eyes.

As we walked to the French doors that lead to the courtyard, I let my mind wonder back to Bella's writings. She had said she would let me read them, so I would just wait until we started talking and then I would randomly bring it up. I was broken from my thoughts by Bella's beautiful voice

"Earth to Edward…" she sang while waving a hand in front of my face.

I came back to Earth, but still didn't let her know that. Instead, I just looked at the magnolia tree that the blanket was now spread out under. When she shook my shoulders, I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder, making her laugh and kick in attempt to get free.

"Put me down, Mr. Cullen!"

"Nope," I said popping the 'p'.

I walked over and laid her down on the blanket, placing myself laying between her legs with my head resting on her chest.

"I love you." I had never spoken truer words in my life. "I always will, never forget that."

"Never," she whispered as her fingers played with my fingers. "Edward, thank you."

"You are very welcome…But for what?"

"For just never giving up on me, back in high school…I was just really scared…scared of being happy because I didn't feel as though I deserved it. It was all apart of growing up, and realizing that happiness is chosen, not earned… I was so stupid for ever thinking I could just run from you forever when clearly we were meant to be…for now…if not forever…"

"Bella, regardless of what you may think, I was just as scared as you were…I'm scared as ever now…because I love you and I don't ever want to be with out you. _You are the still point of my turning world, Isabella" _

At that moment, she captured my lips in a very passionate kiss. My world caught fire in that one single kiss…It was finalized and no matter what happened in this life, I would _always_ find my way back to her.

BPOV:

Those words…Oh, dear God! Those words meant the world to me. He had somehow made me love him more…Just when I thought that was impossible.

After our kiss, I spoke. "Edward, can I play something for you?"

"Of course. You know how I love it when you play," he replied with a glorious smile on his face.

He got up from between my legs and sat directly across from me, as I reached behind me and grabbed my guitar, strumming the first notes…

"I want to live where soul meets body, And let the sun wrap its arms around me, And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing, And feel, feel what it's like to be new, 'Cause in my head there's a Greyhound station, Where I send my thoughts to far-off destinations. So they may have a chance of finding a place where, They're far more suited than here."

I looked directly into Edwards eyes and continued.

"Bada-bada ba-bah Bada ba-ba bada ba-bah Bada ba-ba bada-ba Bada bada-bah

I cannot guess what we'll discover, When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels, But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's, And not one speck will remain. And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes, But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too. So brown eyes I hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

Where soul meets body.

Where soul meets body.

Where soul meets body.

And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes, But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too. So brown eyes I hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere."

(Death cab for cutie- soul meets body)

As the notes faded away, I looked up at Edward and noticed he was looking at something. I followed his gaze up to Alice's balcony and saw none other than Alice and Jasper. My eyes trailed over to our own balcony and found Rosalie and Emmett. All of them immediately started clapping, causing me to blush furiously.

Edward noticed and yelled up at them. "As you were!"

They smiled and disappeared back into the house.

Edward looked back at me, smiling. "That was beautiful."

"You lie," I laughed.

His face went serious. "Bella, you are brilliant and for you to think otherwise is absolutely absurd." The look on his face and the intensity in his eyes pleaded with me to believe him.

I smiled sheepishly. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he said, smiling the crooked smile I loved so much. He leaned back on his elbows as I laid my guitar down. I moved so that I was laying on him with my legs straddling his waist.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?"

"How are you feeling as far as our sex life goes?"

"Edward, you know there is nothing I want more in this world than to be with you in everyway possible…and I do mean _every_ way," I said, thinking of all the positions Rose and I had discussed.

I shifted my hips against Edward so he would get the message, and boy did he get it! He moaned a little and his hands flew up to my hips, holding me in place.

"Bella, if you want to keep your clothes on I suggest that you keep still," he said in a strained voice.

"Who said I _wanted_ to keep them on?" I replied in what I hoped was a playful, seductive voice. It must have worked because he got even harder against me.

"We _will_ finish this tonight. That's a promise," he said in a husky voice, thick with implications of tonight's activities.

I sat up and crawled behind Edward's head, letting him place his head in my lap. "Edward, tell me, is something bothering you? You seem deep in thought all the time."

"Well, I was just thinking about how talented you are, and wondering why you don't realize it, and…your writings..."

I sighed. "Edward, I know I'm okay at some things, but I was raised to always be modest about things like that. I know my ability, but I prefer to just stay away from the attention that it gets me when I show it. My writings are pieces of me, so of course, I will show you, but I just didn't think I was ready at the time…So tonight, before we precede into tonight's activities, I will let you read anything and everything you want," I finished, kissing his lips softly.

"Thank you," he whispered. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"You are very welcome. I love you."

I laid down next to Edward and rested my head on his chest. After a few more minutes of comfortable silence and taking in the sounds of my surroundings,—including Edward's steady beating heart—Alice came through the courtyard doors.

"Bella, come to my room now. Edward, your clothes are on your bed," Alice announced before she walked away.

Edward sat up, allowing me to pack up our stuff and grab my guitar. When I had everything, I looked Edward in the eyes. "You are more than I could have ever asked for in love."

"I know exactly how you feel," he said with a smile.

Funny how a few hours can change a relationship.

A/N: there will be hot steamy lemons soon! You will find out what Bella wrote, and there will be some drama and stuff soon, so don't get too comfy…evil laugh…R&R, oh yeah just to let you know there will be a point in the story where I fast forward about umm…4 years… but it wont be bad.

Next chapter

"Oh…God…Edward!...Ahh…"


	12. through the looking glass

BPOV:

**A/N: Hey! Here's the new chapter... R&R … Thanks for all the support.**

BPOV:

I looked in the mirror at my _Badgley Mischka_ suit **(AN: on profile)** and my _jimmy choo _shoes and purse. This was certainly not the jeans and t-shirt I would normally wear. But my PR agent said that "This is appropriate attire for this kind of interview. I let you dress any way you want for book signings, don't I? So just do me a solid and dress like a _business woman_ today, okay?"

So there I was in the green room bathroom at _'The Today Show'_. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears, my stomach was in knots, and I felt like I was going to puke any minute…_Okay, Bella. Pull it together. Just go out there and talk about the book, answer questions, laugh, and smile! _I thought to myself for about the hundredth time in the last hour. I turned on the faucet, wet my hands, patted my cheeks with the cold water, took a deep breath, ran my hands through my loose curls, and fixed the long string of knotted pearls that hung loose around my neck. _Go before you run_ I thought.

With one more look in the mirror, I walked back out into the green room to find a man—with the head set and the black polo that said 'CREW' on the back—looking around.

"Oh! There you are! Isabella Swan, you're up. Follow me please."

With those words, my heart skipped a beat. I walked closely behind him, down a dark little hallway, with the sound of my footsteps and my heartbeat ringing in my ears. When we reached the end, I looked forward and saw nothing but bright lights. The man turned to me and told me to go out. I nodded my head, took a deep breath, and walked right into the light.

EPOV:

As I took another sip of my coffee, my TV rang out through my apartment. "Here with us today, we have Isabella Swan! The author of best selling book '_The Field: Connection and Time'._ "

As soon as I heard that, my coffee cup went plummeting to the floor, landing with an ear splitting shatter.

Bella…My heart was racing at the mere thought of it…Bella…It can't be…I walked into my living room and sat down in front of my television and watched…Yep, that was Bella. She was beautiful. I hadn't seen her since—Wow! She was even more gorgeous, if that was possible. Her long, mahogany hair cascaded over her shoulders, her skin was creamy and white, her cheeks were flushed and soft, her lips were full and red, and her eyes…Those brown eyes drew me in, like a fly to a light. And her body—even with the suit she was wearing—still as perfect as ever. I caught myself and decided I should listen to what they are saying.

"So, Isabella—" Meredith started.

"Just Bella, please," she smiled.

Meredith laughed. "Okay, Bella. What inspired you to write this book?"

"Well, my friends at the time taught me to grow up…and the book is just my protagonist's view of life when all of this happened. It's not an autobiography, so some of the events are fictional, but most of it I have experienced to some extent," she laughed.

"Bella, let me tell you, I have read this book and it is quite incredible. I mean, there is so just much emotion. How do you do it?"

"Well, I use emotion as a rope that binds all my readers together, so all the intensity of the moments in the book heighten your sense of awareness, I guess leaving them raw and unshielded."

"Even sitting here, listening to you talk, it's just…wow."

"Umm, thanks?" Bella blushed and the crowd erupted in laughter.

"So, how is your book tour coming?"

"It's coming to a close. In fact, my last stop is here in New York. I'll be at several book stores and music stores doing signings."

"Great! Now you can take questions from the audience."

"Okay," Bella smiled.

"Yes, you" Meredith said walking to the edge of the stage and pointing to a girl with a poster. She held the microphone out to the girl. "What's your question?"

"I just wanted to know if Franco was actually someone you were in love with."

A hint of sorrow touched Bella's eyes and her smile saddened. "Well, yeah, he was based on one of my friends."

Another girl stood and Meredith walked over to her. "Do you still have contact with that friend?"

Bella's smile went completely fake. "No, I don't…But he did change my life."

Meredith made her way back to the stage and Bella followed.

"Well, it's been great having you on the show, Bella! Right everybody?" Meredith asked.

The whole crowd cheered.

With that, Bella gracefully walked off the stage after waving to the crowd. When I looked up at the clock on the wall, I realized what time it was.

"Shit! I'm late." I grabbed my briefcase off the table and quickly wrote a note to my maid.

_Dear Mahgda,_

_Sorry about the mess! Be a dear and clean the coffee up._

_My dry cleaning is in the closet so make sure it is taken today._

_I walked Atticus Finch already, but please feed him since I will be late today. _

_Thanks, Edward_

Once out the door, I headed to the elevator. While waiting for it, I took out my blackberry and called my secretary.

"Edward Cullen's office. Jessica speaking. How may I be of assistance?"

"Hey, Jessica—"

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," Jessica said in a supposed sexy voice.

"Look, I'm running absurdly late this morning, so send Jasper in for my appointment in fifteen minutes and sub in Emmett for my consultation with Meyer corp. at 11:45."

"Okay, Mr. Cullen."

I hung up the phone. As I stepped into of the elevator, I thought back to Bella. It hurt a lot to even think of her…

**Flashback:**

"She's what?" I screamed at Alice's tear stained face.

"She's gone" she whispered back at me in a shaky voice.

"What do you mean 'she's gone'?" I asked, trying to calm down.

"I MEAN, SHE PACKED HER SHIT, GOT IN HER CAR, AND LEFT!" Alice screamed.

"How do know you she is gone? Did you see her leave? Did you talk to her?"

"Because of this." She handed me a piece of paper and then fell to her knees, sobbing.

I looked at the paper and began to read:

_Dear loves, I can't ruin this for all of you, I have to leave._

_Thank you all for giving me things I have never had,_

_Friends, love, and most of all family…_

_I am so sorry if this hurts anyone, but it is necessary._

_Dear Edward, parting is such sweet sorrow. _

_I love you so much, but my time is now._

_Please just do me one favor…Do not, under any circumstances, _

_Come looking for me. It was amazing, just being with you, but _

_I know I am not the girl you will spend the rest of your life with._

_It is the sad truth, but if I'm wrong and we were meant to be,_

_You will find your way back to me. Just don't go looking._

_Love, Bella_

I fell to my knees and held my sister close while we cried.

**End of Flashback:**

When I arrived at work, I parked my car in my executive space and walked through the sliding glass doors of 'ECEJ Cullen-Hale Group'—the architectural, design and engineering firm I started with my brothers and my father.

I walked across the marble floors of the lobby to the main elevator and waited. While waiting, I noticed there was a woman standing next to me. She had curly brown hair, she was quite tall, and she was wearing a navy blue business suit. In her hands, she was holding a book. I looked at the cover, seeing a girl standing in a field with her hair blowing around her. I looked at the title…'_The Field: Connection and Time'. _I acted fast and started up a conversation.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you work here?" I asked.

"Yes, I do," she said with a smile.

"I'm Edward Cullen…and you are?" I asked, offering my hand for her to shake.

"I know very well who you are, Mr. Cullen. I'm Angela Weber," she said shaking my hand.

We got into the elevator, and I hit the button for the twenty-fifth floor while she pressed the button for the twenty-fourth.

I crossed my arms and faced her. "So, Ms. Weber, tell me, what's that book about?"

She scoffed. "Are you kidding me? This book is huge all around America, and I'm pretty sure everywhere else. How could you not know what this book is about?"

I shrugged. "I just came back from England."

"Oh! That's right! You were setting up the new branch there."

I nodded. "So the book?"

"Oh, yes. It's about finding who you are. There's this girl who looses everything she has, and then she meets these people who basically give her a lesson in love, life and a connection with other people through humanity."

"Wow. It sounds amazing," I remarked.

"It is, believe me. It changed my life…" Angela said.

"You have read the whole thing right? Can I borrow it just for today?"

"Umm… yeah…but I highly doubt you will finish it all today," she smiled as she handed it to me.

"Thanks for this," I said.

"No problem, just bring it to my floor when you are done," she chuckled, as she got off the elevator.

As I went up to the very top floor, I stared at the cover the girl. It looked like Bella, but I could tell for sure if it was her or not. When I got off the elevator, I walked through a wide space of smaller offices, continuing straight back to the three big offices that were Jasper, Emmett and my offices.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Cullen" Maria—Jasper's assistant—and Nettie—Jasper's secretary—said in unison. They were very nice and I liked them a lot, mainly because they didn't try to hit on me.

"Good afternoon, ladies," I replied.

I passed Emmett's office, where his secretary, Melanie, was on the phone, but she still waved. I kept walking until I reached my office.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," Jessica purred.

"Hey," I said in a disinterested monotone, as I twisted the door knob to my office. I threw my briefcase into one of the chairs that sat in front of my desk, loosened my tie, and sat down. My head started spinning just thinking about the fact that Bella was here, so close, yet so far away.

**Flashback:**

"We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!" Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie sang, as they skipped down our block.

"You guys, that song isn't even from _Alice in Wonderland_!" Bella laughed.

"Really?" Emmett asked.

"I shit you not!" Bella said.

"Oh, well!" Alice said, still skipping.

They were all hammered; accept for Bella and I, of course. We had gone to the new club 'Alice in Wonderland' and danced the night away; once the club was closed, we took a cab to our block and then decided to walk the rest of the way.

"Alright, Emmett and Rosalie, this is your stop," I said as we came up to their house.

"Great Scott! There she blows! Ahoy, mates!" Emmett said in a pirate voice, as he grabbed Rosalie's hand, ran up the stairs, and into the house.

"Onward my wayward son!" Jasper said as he marched ahead.

I pulled Bella closer to me and kissed along her neck.

"Do you want to make it to the room?" she asked.

"Either way, I still get you, don't I?" I asked seductively.

"Most definitely."

Once we were in the house, Alice and Jasper were walking to their bedroom while Bella and I walked in the opposite direction.

"Thanks Alice! 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Bed' were great ideas!" Bella called out behind her. I could tell the little alcohol she'd had was getting to her.

"You are very, very welcome, Belly!" Alice sang.

Bella just stood there, waiting for Jasper and Alice to go into their room. Then she pulled her dress off and threw it at me. "Come and get it," she said, as she ran into the bedroom.

While I was chasing her, I lost my shirt and pants, leaving me in my boxers. Bella, on the other hand, was wearing some very sexy lingerie and a pair of high heels—her black, strapless bra had lace on the edges and her underwear was see-through.

When she made a run for the closet, I grabbed her, threw her over my shoulder, walked to the bed and laid her down gently. I laid on top of her and kissed her with all the desire that I had. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip, begging for entrance, and I eagerly accepted. Her hands roamed my chest and back, and then eventually tangled themselves in my hair.

Bella sat up and straddled my waist, grinding her hips into me, making me moan. She kissed all the way down my chest, to the top of my boxers. Bella grabbed my fully erect member, causing me to groan.

Her lips came back to my ear as she whispered seductively. "Do you want it?"

I couldn't form a coherent thought, so I nodded weakly.

She sucked on my neck. "Cum and get it."

That was all I needed! I flipped us over and unhooked her bra, kissing and sucking both of her breasts. While I did this, I managed to take off her now soaked panties, throwing them at the dresser. I kissed down her stomach, to her crux, and when I placed a kiss there, she whimpered.

"Oh…God…Edward, please…"

That sent me over the edge. I pulled my boxers off and slid into her…that feeling…having her wrapped around me…indescribable.

She turned us over so she was riding me…Even better…Then we both reached our limit, screaming out in bliss…My world was set on fire, and a single tear escaped my eye at seeing Bella in the final throws of passion. It was beautiful and nothing could compare to that…

**End of flashback:**

"Knock, knock," someone said from the other side of the door.

"Who's there?" I played along.

"Your lovely sister, Aly!" Alice said, as she burst in the door with Emmett and Jasper following behind.

"Hey, Alice. You are the last person I expected to see here," I said as I hugged her.

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Because of your company's merger! It's been in the papers for weeks."

"Well, it is huge. I have been swamped, but we settled the business part of the whole thing. Now comes the fun part! I just have to design clothes for two companies instead of one!"

"That's great! Now we can actually see each other this week!" Jasper said.

"I thought you saw enough of me last night, Jazzy" Alice purred.

"Mmm…really?"

"Nah!" Alice laughed.

"Good. I thought I was going to have to show you," Jasper said.

"Okay. Umm…Gross!" Emmett interrupted.

"You're just mad Rose is still at the magazine and not here," Alice said in a sing-song voice.

Emmett pouted and then stuck his tongue out at Alice.

"Hey, you know what else is in the news?" Alice asked.

"One word…Bella," Jasper answered.

"Yeah, I saw her on _The_ _Today Show_ this morning," Emmett said.

"Yeah, I was on my way to work and I had stopped for coffee and inside Starbucks,

_The Today Show_ was on; I nearly ruined my outfit when I saw her," Alice chirped. "So, I was thinking about going to her book signing."

"Yeah, I'll go with you!" Emmett said. "I really miss Belly."

"Yeah, I'll go. I haven't seen her in ages," Jasper said. "How long has it been? Like—"

"Four years," I answered.

"Yeah, let's all go see her," Alice said.

"I can't. I'm busy," I responded.

In that very instant, Alice stomped around to me, grabbed my collar, and looked me dead in the eye. "EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN, YOU CAN AND WILL COME WITH US TO GO SEE HER! WHETHER YOU COME WILLFULLY, OR I HAVE TO DRAG YOU! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

"Crystal," I scoffed. "But Alice, let me tell you something. I am not a child, and you will respect me as such. Do I make _myself_ clear?"

"Crystal," she chirped then rolled her eyes.

"When is the signing?" I asked, as I looked out the window, down onto the busy streets off Manhattan.

"Tomorrow at three, so all of you take off early. I'll tell Rose."

"Where is it?" Jasper asked

"At the _Borders_ on 5th avenue."

"Boy, is she in for a surprise!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, Jasper, can I have a minute alone with Edward please?" Alice asked.

"Yeah," Emmett replied.

"Sure," Jasper answered.

Alice walked over to where I was sitting, kneeled in front of me, and looked deep into my eyes. "Edward, I know you still love her—"

"Alice—"

"Edward, why do you think things didn't work out with Tanya, Bridget, or Natasha? Huh? They weren't meant to be with you! Edward, you need to look into your heart…I know it's still broken—believe me, I know—but her name is still written on it! Can't you see that? When you were with her, it was the only time I ever saw that sparkle in your eyes. Edward, you need her! And if you don't go after her, you will suffocate."

I knew she was right…I was just too stubborn to admit it.

"And I want my best friend back," she said as she got up.

When she got to the door, she looked back at me. "I know this is unexpected, and you are feeling pain and fear, but _at least you are feeling._"

Alice was right…Again! I hadn't _felt_ anything since the day Bella had left.

**A/N: Review!!...any questions? Ask and they shall be answered…..in the next chapter…how am I doing here?**


	13. Oh, inverted world!

BPOV:

BPOV:

I sat straight up—my breathing ragged, my heart racing, and a sheen of sweat coating my face. _Bella, this has got to stop,_ I thought to myself. I scooted over to the edge of my bed and let my bare feet hit the ice cold, hardwood floor. I walked to the bathroom, listening closely for any sound throughout my house, my ears ringing with stillness of the night.

I flicked on the light and it immediately hurt my eyes. "Ouch!" I whispered to myself.

I walked over to the sink, turned on the cold water, and let it pool into my hands. I brought it to my face and let the water wash away my tears. After I wiped my face with the hand towel, I looked in the mirror. _Stop it! _I argued with myself. _Bella, he is not here! _After opening the medicine cabinet and taking out the bottle of _lunesta, _I downed two pills and half a glass of cold water.

As I turned off the light and walked back to my bed, I listened again. This time, I heard the faint sounds of footsteps. My heartbeat quickened and tears spilled from my now closed eyes. When I opened my eyes again, I saw a pair of unfathomable green ones gazing back at me…

BEEP- BEEP- BEEP

I reached over, hit the _snooze_ button on my alarm clock, and then burst in to uncontrollable sobs. I felt like I was drowning in my own dreams…I decided it was time to start the day…I got up and went to shower. When I got out and was fully dressed, I walked down the hall and into the guest bedroom.

"Emily," I whispered.

"Mmmhmmm," she answered.

"Emily, I'm going to leave early. Can you take care of everything?"

"Yeah…. Umm…Wait! You said to meet you at the borders on 5th avenue, but at what time?" she asked, her face still buried in the pillows.

"3:30," I answered her.

"Alright, see you then," Emily mumbled.

I closed the door and walked back up the hallway. When I came to the door that was right next to mine, I opened it and stuck my head in. I smiled at the sight before me, and then continued back to my room to get my things.

When I got to my room, I looked at the clock and saw that it was 8:30. I called down to the lobby and requested a town car. I grabbed my bag and a cup of coffee on the way out. I made my way to the elevator and hit the down button, surprised when it came almost instantly…

"Nice," I said to myself, hoping this was a sign of a good day.

When I made it out of the building, I waited on the curb for the town car I called for. While I was waiting, a woman approached me.

"Oh, my God! You're Isabella Swan, right?"

"Yes, that's me," I laughed.

"Can you sign my book? I'm a really big fan of your work."

"Of course," I said, as I reached in my bag for my pen.

When she got her book out and I found my pen, I asked, "Who should I make this out to?"

"Tanya."

I signed it: "_To Tanya. Your friend, Bella."_

"Here you go, Tanya."

"Thanks!"

My car pulled up just in time and I slid into the back. "The Borders on 5th Avenue, please."

"Sure thing."

On the way to the bookstore, I took out my day planner and looked over it… I had an appointment with the publishing house—about my next book—on Thursday…_Oh, joy! _I thought to myself…

I put away my planner and waited for my stop…

"Thank you," I said to the driver as I got out.

I walked down the block and stopped at a newsstand. There was a paper with the headline _"Alice Cullen—Fashion guru—smacked with major company merger."_ There was a picture of Alice walking out of a huge office building. Alice…I really missed her... I wondered if I should get in touch with her, just to catch up. After moving to New York, it had all been pretty monotonous…I needed a little Alice! But I wondered if it would be risky to even get together with her. I would think about that all little later, but right now, I needed to be in the mood for fandom mania.

As I walked up to the Borders,I saw a large poster of my book cover **(A/N: on profile)** in the right display window, and then I saw a banner hanging above the door. **Isabella Swan, author of** _**The Field: Connection and Time**__._ **Book reading and signing today from 10:00-3:45 **

I blushed as a natural reaction to people giving me attention. By the time I made it inside the bookstore, it was 9:30. I walked all the way back to the place they set up for me. The place was a comfy circular area, with large arm chairs all around and walls bookshelves right behind the chairs. On the wall behind the circular area was a Starbucks station.

I walked out of the circular area and found the bathroom. I looked in the mirror at the outfit I was wearing—grey skinny jeans, flat black, slouch, ankle boots, a fitted red _TWLOHA _tee shirt, and a grey bomber jacket—my hair was down and straight. I added a little chap stick (not lip gloss!) and walked back out the door.

When I passed the front door, I saw that there was a line all the way out the door, down the street, and I was pretty sure around the corner. My heart jumped out of my chest. All of those people were here for me! I felt so loved just then!

I rushed back to the circular area, bumping into my PR agent on the way…_Great!_ I thought.

"Bella, there you are! Look, let's go over the order of this thing."

"Okay, Laurna," I said in a disinterested tone

"First, you are going to do the reading of a scene in the book. Then, you will take questions from the fans. After that, you will perform a song and—"

"Whoa! You did _not_ tell me I would be performing a song at this one!" I whispered harshly.

"Do you want to or not?" Laurna said.

"Laurna, you know I want to, but you could have at least warned me!"

"After you perform a song, the signing portion will commence, got it?"

"Alright, where's my guitar?" I spat.

"I have your travel one in my car, along with the amp," she said.

"Okay. You go get it, and I'll go sit," I said as I walked away.

When I got to the circular area, I found that there was a table, chair, microphone, stool, and water bottle that hadn't been there before. I sat down, pulled out my copy of the book, and chose an excerpt to read. Once I had that done, I took out my iPod, in search of a good song to perform. After ten minutes of searching, I went with "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. When that was done, I reached into my bag and grabbed my autograph pen. My autograph pen was something I held close to my heart.

**Flashback:**

"Why do you only do your writing with that one pen?" Jacob asked.

"Because, Jake, I believe one day my book will get published, and I want to sign autographs with this very pen," I answered.

"Why that pen specifically? I mean, there is nothing great about it!"

"Well, back in high school, the first time I spoke to this boy I was in love with was to ask for a pen. He gave this pen to me. I remember how I tried to give it back, but he said that his pen was very lucky to be used by my beautiful hands," I explained.

"Oh," was the only reply Jacob gave me. He looked a little disappointed.

**End of Flashback:**

When I looked up, the room was filled with people. There were young adults, older people and even a large group of teens; I was thrilled to say the least! I took off my jacket and put my bag down beneath it.

After everyone had been seated, Laurna walked over to me. "We're going to start now."

"Okay," I answered with a smile.

A staff member walked over to the microphone and introduced me. "Welcome everyone! Thanks for coming out. Now, without further delay, Borders brings to you Isabella Swan."

When I passed her on my way up, she mouthed 'Good Luck'. I just smiled and kept going.

"Hello, everyone!" I said when the applause died down. "First, I just want to thank everyone for coming out to support the book. Second, I would like for everyone to call me Bella—That is what my friends call me. We're all friends here, right?"

A loud cheer resounded through out the bookstore.

I laughed. "I'm going to read a short excerpt from the book and then take questions." I took a deep breath and started:

"_What marks our beginning? We know that death marks our end…but does birth really mark our point of origin? Most would say yes, but I have found that the events that happen over a course of time, the ones that mark us, that leave us drained and broken…Those are the ones that mark our life's beginning. For it is through pain that we find the meaning in life… We seek human contact throughout our existence, slipping in and out of desperation, searching for all the right words, feeling all the wrong, misplaced emotions, being trapped in our own prison that is our mind. We cannot escape it, but we can reside and transition in it. This drives us to want, to feel, to want to be loved, and to want to be an individual. This drives us to our ultimate demise, in other words, death. So, this remains 'untitled', because this is not about life, love, nor death. This is simply put as being human."_

When I finished, there was a loud round of applause.

"Thank you, so much. Seeing that my work has reached out and touched so many people…It's incredible. When I started this book, I was a completely different person and by the time I finished it, I was…_feeling_," I said, close to tears.

A girl in the audience raised her hand.

"Come on up," I said to her.

She made her way through the crowd of people sitting on the floor or standing. When she finally made it, I looked her over. She was pale, with wavy blondish-brown hair, and dark blue eyes with a hint of green. When she smiled, I thought that she reminded me of Rosalie.

I held out the microphone for her and she took it weakly. "I just wanted to say that you are amazing. I have met several authors and none of them are like you. You are beautiful inside and out, and it radiates to your readers. I for one can say this book changed me and it helped my see some things in my life more clearly. So, let me just say _thank_ _you_ for giving the world a little piece of yourself to cherish forever, and I'm sure everyone here would agree."

The audience cheered in response.

When she finished, I was in tears. I have done so many signing's, and I have never had anyone reach out to me like that. She handed the mic back to me and I took it.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Mercy," she said.

"Well, Mercy, you just made my year," I smiled and wiped my eyes.

"Can I hug you?" she asked timidly.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," I laughed, as I embraced her. While hugging her, I whispered into her ear. "You are incredible. Don't ever let anybody tell you different."

When she pulled away, she nodded, smiled, and walked back to her seat.

Laurna walked over to me with the stool and guitar in her hands. She set the stool down and handed me my guitar and then walked away. Another guy with a Borders name tag came and put a shorter mic in front of my guitar strings.

I spoke up into the higher microphone. "Well, as some of you may know, I play the guitar. I'm going to sing a song for you all today, and if I'm bad, feel free to walk out."

They all laughed along with me.

"I'm going to be singing 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark' by Death Cab for Cutie."

I closed my eyes, let go of all my worries, and just sang:

"Love of mine  
Someday you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark  
No blinding lights or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of the spark

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black  
And I held my tongue as she told me "Son fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me  
Have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes  
Are all worn down, the time for sleep is now  
But it's nothing to cry about cause we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
I'll follow you into the dark."

When I opened my eyes, everyone was either holding up their cell phones to record it or standing in awe. Then, I played the last cord and they all clapped and cheered.

I stood up and bowed, then picked up the mic. "Thank you all for your support. It's been great. I will be at the table signing books now." I smiled, walked over to Laurna, handed her my guitar, and sat down at the table.

I looked at my phone and saw that it was 12:45 exactly…Three hours left…

EPOV:

"Reservation under Alice Cullen," Alice said to the maître d'.

"For 12:45?" she asked.

"Yes," Alice said, becoming impatient.

"Oh, here it is! Right this way," the maître d' said, obviously not wanting to feel Alice's wrath.

We had all decided to go to lunch before going to the book signing. Truth be told, I was scared shitless to see Bella. But underneath all that fear, I was excited. As we were being seated, the hostess stroked my arm and smiled. I was really losing my appetite—I pulled away from her and moved between Emmett and Alice, not wanting to be groped again.

"Hey, guys," Rosalie said, as she walked in to join us at the table. "Sorry I'm late. I just had a few assholes to deal with in the design department; you'd think after running the damn magazine for oh, 2 ½ years, they would actually listen to me! But no! They want to be difficult and lose their jobs!"

"Ahh, Rosalie, welcome to running your own company," Alice said.

"Got that right! I was in the elevator the other day and a whole bunch of people got in with me! What is that! Have they no respect?" Emmett exclaimed, causing us all to burst into laughter.

"Hello, my name is Molly; I will be your server for today. Are you ready for drinks?" she asked, smiling kindly. She was pretty, with short, silky, auburn hair—lighter than mine—and fierce blue eyes…But still nothing compared to Bella.

"Yes. We will have three beers and two cosmopolitans," Emmett said.

"I'll be right back with that," she said, as she walked away.

Three beers, two cosmos, three deluxe hamburgers, and two Caesar salads later, we were in a town car, on our way to the Borders on 5th Avenue. I was so close to panic that Alice threatened to make me walk there if I didn't calm down.

When we pulled up, there was a line that went out the door, but stopped pretty short outside. Alice was bouncing around, Emmett was on the verge of breaking out into song and dance, Rosalie was smiling brightly, Jasper was laughing at Alice, and I was cowering.

_Edward, you want her. You need her. You love her, so just go get her!_ I thought to myself.

"Come on!" Alice screeched.

"Yeah! Let's go, Diego, go!" Emmett cheered.

"What?" Rosalie asked confused. "Never mind! I don't want to know!"

I looked at my watch and saw that it was 3:50. The signing had just ended at 3:45, and I wondered how this was going to work out. We walked all the way back and I saw a woman with a mic.

"Ms. Swan is very sorry, but it is now 3:51. Those of you who are still waiting for an autograph, please stay and get your 'sign first' slips so that at the next book signing you will be first in line. That signing will be at 'Books-a-Million' on 22nd Street in two days. Thank you."

Alice walked right up to the table where Bella was looking over something diligently. "I missed you," she said to Bella.

Bella looked up slowly and then screamed. "OH MY GOD! ALY!"

Alice didn't hesitate at all. She jumped into Bella's arms. Bella was even more beautiful in person; the TV did her no justice at all! Bella and Alice stood talking for a few seconds before looking up.

Bella screamed again. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" She ran to Rosalie and hugged her tight. Rose returned it just as fiercely.

Bella continued her screams as she noticed each person in turn. "Oh my gosh, Em!" She pulled him into a hug and Emmett laughed.

"Jazz!" she laughed, as he hugged her, picking her up and spinning her around. When he put her back on her feet, they were both laughing.

When she came to me, her voice was soft. "Hey, Edward."

"Hey, Bell—" I was interrupted by Bella hugging me fiercely.

I hugged her back just as hard, and for one moment, I felt whole again. I felt water spilling on my shirt and then I heard Bella sniffle. I would have cried, but I had to be strong for her. I let her go and she took a step back to look at me. I saw her biting her lip…I knew that look—when we were in college, that look meant "Take…It…Off".

"Mummy!" a small voice called out.

We all turned our heads so quickly that I was surprised no one had whiplash! I looked down and saw a beautiful, little girl. She had long, brunette hair with auburn flecks, brilliant green eyes, and full little lips. She had on a striped hoodie, jeans, little black chucks, and on her back was a little red back pack—she was the spitting image of Bella!

When I looked up at Bella, she smacked her face as if to say "What is she doing here?".

I also say fear and regret in her eyes

BPOV:

_Oh god! NO!_

_Shit! What is she doing here!_

_Just breathe!_

EPOV:

The little girl was barreling towards Bella, shouting "Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!". Another young woman was chasing after her. She had straight black hair, black pants, a black band tee, grey chucks, and lots of black eye liner around her pale blue eyes. She also had snake bites **(A/N: you should know if you don't just ask)** and an eyebrow ring.

Once Bella removed her hand from her face, she put on a fake smile, kneeled down and opened her arms for the little angel.

"Hello, Emmy. How is my favorite little girl?" Bella asked, kissing her cheek

"I'm fine, mummy. Who are these people?" the little girl asked.

I don't know why, but something inside me ached at the fact that the little girl didn't know who I was.

Bella looked up as if she suddenly remembered that we were standing here. I looked away from the scene before me to look back at the others. All of them, every single one of them, stood there in shock with their mouths agape.

_Smooth guy's! Real smooth! _I thought as Emmett scratched his head in confusion.

"These are some of mummy's friends," Bella explained, looking at each of us.

"Mummy, do your friends have names?" she asked. While she was talking, I picked up that she had a little English accent.

"Yes. Why don't you go introduce yourself to them?" Bella suggested.

"What if they don't like me, mummy?" she whispered timidly.

"Oh, I'm sure they will," she said reassuringly.

When the little girl walked toward us, Bella stood and walked over to the other woman who had come running after the little girl. Meanwhile, the little girl walked over to Alice.

"Excuse me, miss. What's your name?" the little girl asked.

Alice kneeled down to the girl's level—which wasn't very far for Alice. "Well, my name is Alice. What's yours?" Alice asked excitedly, while offering the child her hand to shake.

"Well, Alice, it is very nice to meet you. My name is Emilia," she said taking Alice's hand and shaking it. "You are very tiny, Alice," Emilia noted, smiling.

"I know! So are you," Alice laughed.

Alice took Emilia's hand and walked over to Jasper. Jasper got down on his knees and stuck out his hand. "Hello, Emilia. I'm Jasper."

"Pleased to meet you," she smiled.

Alice, Jasper, and Emilia walked over to Emmett next. Emmett picked Emilia up and spun her around, laughing along with her.

"Hello, Emmy! I'm Emmett!"

Emilia giggled. "Well, Emmett, you are _huge_!"

"And you are adorable!" Emmett laughed.

Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Emilia turned to Rose.

"Hello, I'm Emilia," she said timidly, as she looked up at Rosalie.

Rosalie smiled and bent over. "Hello, Emilia. My name is Rosalie, but you can call me Rose."

"Okay, Rose. You can call me Emmy." The little girl smiled

"You want to know something Emmy?"

"What rose?"

"I call Emmett 'Emmy' too" she laughed

"Rose?" Emilia smiled shyly.

"Yes?"

"You are very pretty…you look like my Barbie."

"Why, thank you, Emilia. You are quite gorgeous yourself."

Emilia blushed and walked over to me. "What's your name?"

I kneeled down and looked her in her green eyes, noticing that they strangely resembled mine—but hers had flecks of brown around the edges. "My name is Edward. It's very nice to meet you, Emilia." I smiled and offered her my hand to shake, her tiny hand touched mined and a spark emitted from her skin. _That's odd_, I thought. _I haven't felt that since_…_Bella._

"Edward, you have eyes like mine! And your hair is the same color as mine, too, but mine is dark like mummy's."

"Yes, all of that is true," I said looking her over.

"Why?" she asked.

"I don't know…I'll ask your mummy one day."

**A/N: bet cha didn't see that coming! R&R**

**Picture of Emilia on my profile **


	14. When The Day Met The Night

BPOV:

**A/N: here you go…I hope you love it! ...this took lots of work**

BPOV:

I could not believe this was happening; one of my worst nightmares had suddenly become a reality. Running? _You're good at that…_ not an option. I fought back more tears as I walked over to Emily.

"Emily, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry! She was just really excited to see you and when we walked in the bookstore, she just let go of my hand and ran away. Bella, I'm so sorry," she said sadly.

"Emily, it's okay. But next time, try to keep up with her better. You know how she gets when she loses her way."

"Okay, Bella. I'm really sorry about this."

I could see she was really sad that she disappointed me. I reached out and gently grabbed her shoulders in a reassuring manner.

"Emily, you are the best nanny a kid could ask for. Emmy loves you and I do too. You know you are like my own; you just get paid better right?" I laughed.

She nodded weakly. "Thanks, Bella"

I smiled and hugged her. "Anytime, kiddo. Anytime."

She laughed. "Kiddo? That's a new one!"

When I released her, she looked over at Alice, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward, who were all surrounding Emilia.

"Hey, Bells, you have her from here, don't you? I have to get to my evening class," she stated.

"Of course, Emily. Call me when you are out and we will discuss dinner," I said smiling, as she turned to walk away.

"Ooh! Emily?!"

She turned around. "Yes?"

"On your way home, can you pick up my guitar from the shop? Or do you want me to do it?"

"Actually, Bella, I was going to go to the mall just to get a few things but I can go tomorrow," she smiled.

"No, no, no, no. I can go and get it after I leave here. Never mind!" I said.

"Alright. Bye, Bells."

"Bye, Em!"

When she left, I turned back to the small crowd behind me to find that they were watching me with intent. _Oh boy!_ I slowly trudged over to them, fearing what was to come.

"Who was that?" Alice questioned.

"That was my Emily!" Emilia answered for me.

"What's an 'Emily'?" Jasper asked.

"She is the nanny."

"She is awfully young to be a nanny, don't you think?" Edward chimed in.

"Well, when we lived in England—"

"England?" Emmett asked.

"Wow, we have _a lot _of catching up to do!" Rosalie said.

"How about we get together for lunch. Umm…maybe tomorrow?" Alice suggested.

"Umm…yeah… I could do that," I agreed.

"What time?" Jasper asked.

"Well, Emilia is at school until 2:30, so anytime before then is great," I answered.

"How about a 12:00 brunch at 'The Russian Tea Room'?" Alice questioned.

"That's on 145 West 57th Street, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Alice replied.

_If I was a rich girl (Na, Na...)  
See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl  
No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end  
Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl (Gwen stefani-rich girl)_

Alice reached into her bag, for her phone, while everyone was in hysterics; Emilia looked at us like we were crazy. Alice finally got a hold of her phone to answer it. "Hello?"

"Not again!" Alice sighed. "Alright! Alright! I'll be there as soon as I can." When Alice got off the phone, she looked furious. She looked at all of us warily. "Stupid photographers!" she muttered. She turned to Jasper and kissed him on the cheek. "I have to jet. I'll see you at home." She walked over to me and gave me a fierce hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Belly. I'll see you tomorrow."

Alice gave me her phone number, waved at everyone else after hugging and kissing Emilia, and then she left.

"I have some errands to run before I go home, so I guess we better get going," I said, taking Emilia's hand.

She looked up at me with sadness in her eyes and then looked at everyone else. "Bye," she muttered, as she waved.

Jasper, Edward, and Emmett waved back at her and we walked away.

When we got to the door, Edward caught up to us. "You said you had some errands to run, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do," I laughed.

"Do you mind if I come with you?" he asked.

EPOV:

My heart was racing by the time I asked the question. What if she rejects the idea, or worse…what if she rejects _me_?

"Sure, but I warn you, it could be really boring," she smiled.

"It doesn't matter, just as long as I'm with you," I said.

When I said that, I saw sadness well up in her eyes. She shook her head as if she was trying to shake the feeling. "Come on," she said, leading the way to the street. She was about to hail a cab when I stopped her.

"Let me," I said.

She rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and walked back to the sidewalk with Emilia.

I raised my hand and stepped out onto the street, but the cars and cabs just kept zooming by. I was about to take another step into the street, when I felt a spark on my shoulder. I turned around to see Bella with a smug smile on her face.

"Let me," she said in a mocking imitation of my voice.

I laughed and then I felt a small hand on mine. I looked down next to me, to see the little girl was smiling at me.

"Watch! Mummy's good at this," Emilia said.

I nodded my head and watched as Bella bent over slightly and whistled with one hand at her mouth and the other in the air. All of a sudden, four cabs and two town cars stopped abruptly. Bella laughed and waved for us to follow her to the nearest town car.

Bella and Emilia got in first, and I got in last. As I climbed into the car, I felt like someone was watching me…It was really eerie.

"Madison Avenue, please," Bella said to the driver.

"What's on 'Madison Avenue'?" I asked.

"Oh, no! You don't get speaking privileges since I schooled you on how to hail a cab!" she laughed.

"Told you mummy was good at that," Emilia giggled.

"Okay! Okay! You can talk now," Bella sighed after one minute of silence.

"Thank you so much, oh queen of cab-hailing," I joked.

"You are so very welcome, king of making-an-ass-of-himself." Bella immediately threw her hand over her mouth after realizing she had cursed in front of Emilia.

"Mummy, what's an ass?" Emilia asked sweetly.

Bella just sat there with her hand over her mouth.

"An ass is an…animal," I answered, when Bella looked panicked.

"What kind of an animal?" Emilia pressed.

"Umm…" I looked at Bella with confusion on my face.

"It's an animal with…" Bella stuttered.

"Really big teeth!" the driver chimed in.

We all looked at each other and then at the driver, and burst into a fit of laughter. When our stop came, we got out and started walking, with Bella leading the way.

"Where are we going?" I asked, noticing that we were headed more north.

"Jeez! You are worse than Emilia!" Bella scolded jokingly.

"Hey!" Emilia and I said in unison, making Bella laugh.

We stopped in front of a two story building that appeared to be a store; in the display windows were vinyl records, blocking the view of the inside of the store. When I looked up, I saw that the name of the store was "Lucy is Blind". **(A/N: I own!)**

"What's 'Lucy is Blind'?" I asked.

"It's an investment I was handed when we moved here, but right now, I'm just picking up some things," Bella smiled.

When we walked in, I noticed the room was a blood red color, with black and white photos scattered across the walls. I saw several small tables, an average sized stage with a little piano on it, a couch on the back wall, a cash register opposite, and a starbucks stand.

"Would you like a tour?" Bella asked.

"Of what, exactly? I mean, what is this?"

"It's my dream aka a café slash music store. I inherited this place from an aunt two weeks after being in New York. I thought all my family was already dead, but then I found out that I had a great aunt who was dieing. When she contacted me, she was living in Saratoga at her lake house and she asked to meet with me. So, Emmy and I took a road trip up there. The house, the lake, and the scenery were so beautiful…About four weeks after we arrived here, my aunt died in her sleep. She left everything she owned to me…the lake house, this place, a photography studio in Soho, and a generous sum of money," she said nonchalantly.

"Wow," was my brilliant answer.

"That's the same thing I said!" Bella laughed.

"Mummy, can I go play in your room?" Emilia said, as she walked over from the couch she had been sitting on.

Bella looked at her and smiled. "Sure, kiddo. Just don't get lost like you did last time!"

"Okay, mummy. I won't!" Emilia sang, as she ran for the back room.

Bella turned her attention back to me. "So, do you want the tour or not?"

"Sure."

We walked toward the back room where Emilia had just gone, and walked up a flight of stairs. When we got to the top, we were in an olive green room, with shelves full of records wrapped all around the room. To the right, there was a window with a comfy looking seating area beneath it. There were racks lined with CDs on the wall farthest away from us, and in the center of the room, there was a long table with twelve flat-screen Apple computers, and office chairs.

"I'll be right back," Bella said.

"I'll be right here," I murmured absent-mindedly.

I walked over to the wall lined with vinyl records closest to the window. As I fingered each LP, looking at the artist, I noticed she had everything from Nirvana to The Beatles. I picked up a Jefferson Airplane record and was studying the artwork when Bella walked in.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

I turned around to see Bella carrying a manila folder and a heavy looking guitar case.

"What's that?" I quizzed, nodding toward the folder in her hands.

"Oh, just some inventory and status reports I had the employees fill out. Emmy! Come on! We're leaving!" Bella called.

"Oh, I wanted to buy this…I've been searching for this very album, and I couldn't find it anywhere," I explained.

Bella put down her guitar case and walked toward me. She took the LP from me and looked at it inquisitively. "Jefferson Airplane?"

I was too distracted by her closeness to pay attention to her words, so I just answered with the first thing that came to mind. "Yeah, it's beautiful."

"Really? I never really pegged you for Jefferson Airplane."

I moved a little closer to her and placed my hand on the side of her face. When I did this, I saw pain engulf her beautiful eyes and tears start to form.

"Don't," Bella whispered. "Just don't…It will be easier that way."

I was just about to ask 'what?' or 'why?', when Emilia bounced in. We separated, like two teenagers who were going at it and their parents just walked in.

"Mummy, let's go. I'm hungry!" she whined with an adorable pout.

Bella blinked away her forming tears. "Okay, darling. Let's get you some food." Bella looked back at me for a second. "Just keep it. It'll be my gift to you."

"Bella, I can't—"

"You can and you will," Bella said with a tone of finality.

"Come on…I have to get out of here," Bella giggled, as if she wasn't on the verge of tears a few seconds ago. That was something I noticed; Bella had become a very good actress, and I wondered why.

After Bella locked up the store, we started walking up Madison Avenue. Ten minutes of pleasant conversation about everything and nothing—avoiding what we really needed to discuss anyway, like oh, I don't know, why she left me. Later on, we ended up at a nice little French restaurant _'Le Madeline'._ When we walked in, Bella asked for a table for three and we were seated immediately.

"Bella, is there something wrong?" I asked in a whisper so Emmy wouldn't hear.

Bella, who was seated across from me, looked up and shook her head 'no' but her eyes…her eyes told a completely different story.

"Edward, have you been here before?" Emilia asked.

"No, Emmy I haven't," I answered with a smile.

"You should come here with us all the time…this is my favorite place to eat. You know why?"

"No…why?" I asked, playing along.

"It's named after me! And the cocoa here is yummy!"

"It's named after you?"

"Yep! Madeline is my second name!"

"You have a second name?"

"Yeah, my name is 'Emilia-Madeline Elle Swan'!" she stated proudly.

"Well, Emilia-Madeline Elle Swan, that is a very lovely name. It sounds like a princess."

"Thank you. What's your second name?"

"Anthony. Edward Anthony Cullen," I said, playing along.

"That's a nice name, too. But I like mine better," she laughed.

Her laugh was a beautiful sound, and I couldn't help but think that it should be heard more often. I made a mental note to myself to make Emmy laugh as much as I could.

After we had our meal—cocoa included—I paid for it all and then we left. As we walked, Bella and I exchanged glances, but mostly Emmy and I were the ones having the conversation, getting Bella to 'laugh' in all the right places.

Suddenly, something occurred to me—and when I say occurred to me, I mean waves of realization washed over me—just the mere thought of it was scary, exciting, and at the same time, made me very…livid.

As we walked leisurely in the midday—not too hot, not too cold—weather, we passed a park.

"Mummy! Can I play over there? Pleeeeeeease?" Emmy begged.

Bella smiled. "Sure. But hey, only for a little while."

Emilia smiled. "Okay, mummy."

Bella leaned down and kissed her cheek before letting her run off to play. Bella and I sat on the bench across from the playground area and watched Emilia play for a while; I looked at Bella and then grabbed her hand. She and I locked eyes and then I took a deep cleansing breath…

"Is she _mine_?"

**A/N: cliffy madness! R&R…how am I doing? ...special thanks to Santi911… and my beta…My-Bella**


	15. Northern downpour sends its love

A/N: OMG

A/N: OMG! You guys are awesome! I am really happy about the positive responses I have been receiving from everyone…so here is the new chapter…enjoy! ...and don't forget to review

Previously: "Is she _mine_?"

BPOV:

The thing was…I knew it was coming…_This_ was why I dreaded seeing him again… I knew that this would happen… I just hadn't known _when_. I looked into his eyes—murky, yet so clear—and saw all the moments we had shared. This was the man who had worshiped me in college, this was the man who had loved me enough to dive in and save me, and this was the man who had loved me when I didn't even love myself….I _owed_ him an answer.

I took in a ragged breath, and blew apart his world…"Yeah…Yeah, she is yours."

I hadn't been looking at him, but I could feel him there. Before I could look up at him, I heard his footsteps moving farther and farther away…

EPOV:

_I don't fucking believe it_…_How could she?_..._How did this happen?_..._Why?_…W_here did—…Oh, my fucking God…How? _Questions engulfed my mind, like wild fire, as I walked away from Bella and apparently _my daughter_…I felt so stupid, how could I have not known it? I mean, the signs were all there…Her eyes, her hair, her smile…They were all pieces of Bella and me.

The walk to the main street wasn't too far considering all things, I made it there quickly; I hailed a cab and headed home. After coming home to an empty apartment, I let all of my emotions have their way with me—resulting in a deafening scream. I let it all out; I let all of the feelings that were left in my body escape me. I walked to my bedroom—a room that seemed even more empty than before—and traded my suite and tie for a pair of sweat pants before letting sleep take me to a place where nothing existed…

BPOV:

"Mummy, why are you crying?"

"Because it's the only thing I can do right now, darling"

"Why?"

"Because I ran away from the only real thing I ever had."

As I stroked Emilia's long auburn-mahogany hair, I tried to remember what it was like to be complete…Then I realized that when I left Edward, I left behind any chance of being complete. Of course, I love Emilia with every fiber of my being, but with her, I'm only half of what I could be. When he walked away in the park today, I felt old and new wounds being ripped open. I felt everything…and nothing. I felt a part of me die…_again_.

So here I am, holding the only thing in this world that has any value to me, and letting my tears free fall onto the pillow where both our heads lay.

EPOV:

When I woke up at first light, I didn't feel like I could do anything all, so I did the only thing I could do…I called Alice.

"Helloooo," she answered in typical Alice fashion.

"Hey, Alice. I'm not going into work today. I'm going to drive up and see mom and dad."

"Edward, what's wrong? I mean, you never drive up there on impulse. Something must have happened—"

"Aly, don't… Please…You can't fix this one."

"Oh…She told you, didn't she?"

"How did you know?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh, Edward! How could I not know? She looks just like you."

"The others?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Has Jasper left yet?"

"No, he is in the kitchen."

"Can you tell him I'm not going to work today, please?"

"Sure thing."

"Alright, bye."

"Edward!"

"Yeah?"

"It will all be okay. Don't worry."

"Sure…Bye, Alice."

After I got off the phone, I showered, got dressed in loose ripped jeans and a black Armani tee-shirt and black chucks, grabbed my wallet and went into the kitchen.

In the midst of getting my keys and coffee, I noticed the answering machine light was blinking. I walked over and hit the button as I went back to my room to get my jacket.

"You have two new messages. First message…"

"Hey, Edward. It's me, Melanie. You know, your girlfriend? I was wondering where the hell you have been since I haven't seen nor spoken to you in like a week. In case you are wondering, this is me pissed…Why don't you call me when you pull your head out of your ass?"

"If you would like to delete this message, press seven now."

I pressed the button.

"Message deleted. Second message…"

"Edward, this is Emmett. Where are you man?…Alice, Jasper, and I are here at—oh wait, never mind. Here you come…I guess this message is kind of pointless now…Umm…Alright…Bye…Oh yeah! It was me that told your assistant that you liked to walk around your office naked. Bye!"

"If you would like to delete this message, press seven now"

I pressed the button harder, imaging it was Emmett's face.

"Message deleted; you have no new messages."

Melanie and Emmett…Bella didn't even _try_ to call.

I got into my Volvo, willing my engine to get me far from here…

BPOV:

When I woke up, I looked down at my still sleeping angel. I eased out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror at my messy hair and puffy red eyes, I realized that this was normal for me…Always hurting…always feeling…_I have got to get out of here_…

I walked to Emily's room and creaked the door open and whispered loudly. "Emily?"

"Mmmhmm"

"I'm going to be gone for a little bit. I'll be back when the weekend is over, okay?"

She sat straight up. "Bella, where are you going?"

"I have to go see someone."

"Oh, okay…I'll um... take care of Emmy, but when will you be back?"

"Sunday or Monday…I promise I'll be back by Monday at the latest."

"Oh, okay…What should I tell Emilia?"

"I'll tell her."

"Bells, are you okay?"

I forced a smile—although, I don't think it looked like a smile, more like a twisted grimace. "Yeah, I'm okay." _I wish I could believe that right now…_

I walked back to my room and put some clothes and toiletries in an overnight bag. In the midst of packing, my alarm clock went off and as expected, Emilia sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. I could feel her green eyes searching the room for me, and when she found me, I could hear her next words before they were spoken.

"Mummy, where are you going?"

I walked over to the bed, sat down and wrapped my arms around her. "I have to go take care of a few things, but I'll be back before you know it, kiddo."

"Mummy, can I go?" she said shakily, as if she were on the verge of tears.

"No, love. Mummy has to do this alone." I could feel the wetness of her tears on my fresh shirt.

"Okay, mummy. I understand. I love you."

I started to cry then. "Thank you, sweetie. I love you so much."

"I know, mummy."

I walked Emilia to Emily's room, grabbed my bag, got in my car, and willed my engine to get me far from here…

A/N: I know it was short but really all my chapters have been really long gimmie a break…lol…R&R please…p lurvs you


	16. Things we lost in the fire

A/N: thanks for all the reviews guys, they really motivate me…

A/N: thanks for all the reviews guys, they really motivate me….for all of you with the same question of "why did Bella leave?" you will have your answer sooner than you think evil laugh

EPOV:

She is absolutely amazing; she is beautiful and most importantly she is from Bella and I. Now I finally understand why I felt there was something missing from me besides Bella. With Bella, there was a physical and mental ache from not having her there and not being able to do anything about it. But now that I had felt Emilia there, I realized that the gentle hum in the back of my mind was my child…my _daughter_…my Emilia. Now, here I am miles away from them, sitting in my parents living room, waiting for them to come home so I can blow their world apart…_just like she did mine_.

As I looked out of the floor to ceiling windows, letting the quiet stillness surround me, I heard a very loud crash come from…Next door…_Charlie's house_…

BPOV:

When I stepped out from the cab into the rainy, grey typical Forks weather, the first thing I did was wipe my face of the mascara trails that threatened to ruin my façade of being "okay". Then, I looked at the Cullen's driveway. Empty. I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that this probably wasn't a rare occasion, seeing as Carlisle had just opened a new clinic in Port Angeles and Esme had recently been on the cover of "House and Garden" for her innovations in home decorating,--meaning, they were never home.

I walked into the house, remembering that I hadn't been here since I was in collage. The house seemed…I struggled, not wanting to use the word that had immediately come to mind, but there was no denying it. This house was lifeless. More tears threatened to spill as I remembered my parents…_T__his house was as lifeless and dead as my parents._

"Oh, god" I cried as I sank to the floor in a heap.

My parents…The realization that the only people who had ever loved me were _gone_ hit me all over again, as it they had just died yesterday instead of years ago. I finally understood what Alice in Wonderland must have felt like when she peered into the looking glass.

I lay there, crying silently, for an immeasurable amount of time. As my tears cascaded to the old wooden floorboards beneath me, the floor grew colder and colder. When I sat up, my hand touched something shaky—I looked down to the floor and shook my hand again. The floorboard was loose.

_Nice work, captain obvious,_ I thought, slightly annoyed with myself.

I looked at the floorboard more closely and noticed something was twinkling in the bit of light filtering through the crack.…_Hmmm, I wonder._

Acting on untamed curiosity, I jumped up—in true Bella fashion almost falling back down—and ran upstairs to the attic to get Charlie's tool box. Once I pulled down the ladder, I climbed as if my life depended on it. I didn't know why but I was really curious about what could be underneath that floorboard. I walked to the furthest wall and grabbed the huge, red tool box and started down the ladder. I wasn't even halfway down when a bad case of vertigo took over, causing me to loose my footing. I said a silent prayer to not die on impact, knowing there was no way to save myself. First, I heard the earsplitting crash of the tool box and then, I felt my back make agonizing contact with the floor. I didn't even get to check out my injuries before the nothingness took over…_T__his is it! I'm dead…Humph!…You would think there would be some kind of welcome committee._

EPOV:

I jumped up from the couch and ran for Charlie's house. When I stood face to face with the actual door, my motive faltered and I took a step back…_She's probably not in there_…My internal struggle was interrupted by another loud thump. I knocked a few times and then twisted the door knob, praying that it might be unlocked.

The door smoothly opened before me. With my prayers answered, I silently thanked God, rushing in and looking around for the source of the noise. I noticed an overnight bag, a jacket and a purse strewn across the floor of the living room. At the bottom of the stairs was a hammer. I stepped closer to it and noticed it was blood spattered. My fingers made contact with the crimson essence, my heart skipping a beat and then speeding up with a vengeance.

"Bella!?" I called out into the silence, as I stood up and started for the steps.

When I reached the middle of the stairs, I saw her on the floor at the bottom of the attic stairs next to a tool box and some random tools that were splayed around the hall. As I ran to her, I saw that just above her left eyebrow was a two inch gash that was bleeding heavily. But the thing that scared me the most was her extremely shallow breathing.

"Oh, God! Bella, please wake up." I put my head to her chest to listen for a heartbeat. I found one, but was so slow.

I knew I had to get her to the hospital. I carefully lifted her, cradling her tightly against my chest. I was halfway to the car when she gasped, her eye lids fluttering open and her eyes locking with mine.

"Edward, what—" She never finished that sentence because her eyes rolled back and then closed, her body once again limp in my arms.

I hurried as fast as I could, laying her down gently in the backseat. As soon as I made sure she was settled, I hopped into my car and sped off toward the hospital.

BPOV:

I pulled through the blackness once before, so I knew I could do it again. The first time, I had accomplished it by continually thinking of Emilia, and then Edward. I tried that again, but the darkness would only flicker away for a second…_Damn it!_

Since that clearly wasn't working, I tried thinking of them together. That time, the light held a little longer. I took another chance, picturing all three of us together with our family and friends. The dark fog finally lifted, allowing the brightness to fill me up, making everything …_clear_

EPOV:

As I parked in the hospital parking lot, Bella coughed. I looked in the rearview mirror, watching her sit up and put her hand to her head.

"Edward? What the—Oh, my God! You're here! I'm so sorr—"

I turned and reached my arm back, gently placing my finger over her lips, stopping her from rambling. "Bella, not right now. We need to get you taken care of. Okay?"

She nodded meekly and then looked out the window at the emergency room. I opened her door and she let me help her out, keeping her hand in mine all the way to the emergency room doors. As we approached the doors, she looked up at me for a second, and then let my hand go. I'm sure the disappointment and hurt were written all over my face, but I decided I would just put it away for me to deal with later.

We entered the sliding glass doors, garnering glances from several passing nurses, patients, and doctors. We made our way to the front desk where a nurse came and assessed the situation. She gave me the clipboard of papers to fill out while she took Bella to see a doctor. I sat there, filling out the papers, hoping maybe—by some odd twist of fate—Bella would stop running away from me.

BPOV:

When our fingers had been laced together, I had felt truly happy—but then I had looked up, seeing so much love and honesty in his emerald eyes that the guilt overwhelmed me. Reluctantly, I had forced myself to let go of his hand. Now, here I was in the emergency room, waiting behind a curtain to see what the damage was. I was brought out of my reverie by a gorgeous man walking into the room, his ID declaring him as "Dr. Harper".

"Hello, Ms. Swan. I'm Dr. Harper," he said, shaking my hand and then moving to put the x-rays on the light board.

"Well, there doesn't seem to be any lasting damage, just a few bruises and your head will hurt for a while."

"That's good to hear," I said relieved.

"What happened?"

"I was going to the attic and I got a bad case of vertigo. Then I fell from the pull down ladder that was pretty far off the ground."

"Was there anyone home?" he quizzed.

"No, I was alone…I'm just visiting."

"Oh, really? Who?"

"My past, my present, and my future," I laughed.

"Well, Ms. Swan, I suggest you lay off the climbing. I'm just going to prescribe you some pain killers for your back and head. Molly will be in shortly with a brace for your wrist and your discharge papers."

"How long do I wear the brace?"

"A week, or until the ache goes away, which ever comes first," he said with a smile.

"Do I have to come in to get the stitches removed?" I asked.

"No, they will come out on their own. Be sure to change the bandage twice a day until that happens."

"Okay, that sounds pretty safe."

"Well, it seems that way but with your luck," he laughed.

"My luck?"

"Well, one of the older doctors told me you are a regular. It seems you've spent so much time here, they think you should just take up residency," he laughed.

"Thanks?" I laughed.

"Anytime. Now that's everything. Just wait for Molly and then you can go," he said, after writing something and then ripping it of a pad. "And here's your prescription."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Harper."

"You're welcome," he said and then walked out of the room.

EPOV:

I sat in the emergency room, trying to think of a good reason for Bella being here. Apparently, she was running—but then again, so was I. I admit that I could have reacted better when Bella told me that I had a four year old daughter that I had never met before a week ago. But she still didn't have the right to run away from anything that might threaten her happiness. I sighed, knowing I should take my own advice. I loved Bella with every fiber of my being, but I didn't understand what had happened to us…How had we gotten so far apart?

When she came out from the curtained area of the emergency room, she had a bandage over the gash on her forehead and a brace on her wrist. She looked very tired.

I made no move toward her so that she would understand that she no longer had control of this situation. When she finally made her way to me, I stood and started walking to the sliding doors. She followed, but when we were halfway to the car, walking fast in the empty parking lot, she grabbed my hand in effort to stop me.

"Hey, I'm sorry about this," she said looking me in my eyes.

"God, you _really_ don't get it, do you?" I muttered, half to myself.

"What?" she yelled.

"This, Bella!" I said, waving my arms in an effort to relieve some of my frustration. "You don't get to be the victim all the time! Here you are in _Forks,_ running away from something _you_ did! And you know what?"

"What Edward?" she shouted.

"I'm DONE!"

There was a very long silence that ensued; she looked like I had slapped her. I saw a tear escape her eye as she looked into my eyes. The hurt inside of her brown eyes increased my own pain, making me wish I had never said anything.

"Bella I—"

"Don't. Let's just go," she said, wiping her eyes and heading for the car.

I walked to her side and opened her door, closing it behind her. The ride home was spent in a very, very, excruciatingly awkward silence. As soon I pulled into my driveway, she opened her car door and ran home. I stayed in the car for awhile, just trying to breathe…The longer I sat there, the more I felt like I was drowning in my own bathtub.

BPOV:

When Edward had said he was "done", it felt like I had been slapped. I knew I had screwed things up for myself yet again. When I got inside my house, I was much too tired to do anything besides sleep. I got my overnight bag and put on my pajamas, picked the tools up from the hallway floor and put the tool box on the kitchen counter. I got a glass of water from the refrigerator, took my pain killers and then headed back up to my room. I laid down, thinking about how by running away was always getting me into trouble…_T__hat's it_!

Acting on pure instinct, I grabbed my cell phone. "I'm not running any more!"

I sent out a simple text: Please come to my door at 4am. We need to talk. I'm so sorry.

While I waited for a reply, I set my alarm clock for 4am, and then lay back down, staring at the ceiling. With my eyes getting heavy, I looked at my phone for the hundredth time and saw that I had one new message.

My heart started jumping for joy as I read the words: I'm sorry about earlier. See you at 4.

I let my body relax, lulling me into sleep. Right before I drifted off, a thought occurred to me and I prayed it could be true…M_aybe things will all be okay. Maybe we can fix this. Maybe…_.

A/N: thanks for reading now review...how am I going?… special thanks to my lovely beta 'My-Bella'


	17. 4am forever

4am forever

4am forever

**A/N: Hey, guys! I want major reviews! Here is the new chapter. There are some surprises in it for you…**

EPOV:

When I received the text, I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I mean, I wanted to talk to her, but I'm so damn tired of dealing with her yanking me around. _I'll go because I want answers_. As I stared at my ceiling, I thought about how so much had happened with my life in one week…I hated being on this emotional roller coaster, but at least I was feeling something. It was just dealing with so much at once…It was really starting to wear on me. Just the thought of it all made me tired. I set my alarm clock for three-forty-five am and let the stillness of the night put me to sleep.

At the sound of my alarm, I sat straight up in anticipation of what was to come. After I put on my shoes and ran a hand through my hair, I grabbed my jacket and cell phone, heading for the door.

As I crossed the dewy grass of my lawn, I noticed that the sky was a beautiful pre-dawn navy color with a few fading stars shining gloomily. When I arrived at Bella's door, I took a deep breath and twisted the knob, not even worrying with knocking. I closed the door gently behind me and treaded softly up the stairs. When I came to Bella's bedroom door, I found that it was already partially open. I took the liberty of nudging it just enough to open all the way.

She was laying on her side with her back facing me, her hair sprawled out behind her and a tiny slither of skin between her shirt and her stomach showing in the barely there sunlight. The image before me took me back to college, just before she left, when I would get up early to watch her sleep.

The sound of her alarm brought me out of my reverie. When she started to stir a little, I walked over to the rocking chair in the corner and took a seat.

Bella slowly sat up, turned off her alarm, and then looked out the window. "How long have you been there?" she asked quietly, never taking her eyes off the window.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I felt you long before I saw you."

"Oh, well…Why did you ask me here?" was my brilliant response.

"So you could ask your questions, I could ask mine, and we could both get our answers. I'm tired of running, Edward."

"Who goes first?"

"You, and then me."

"Okay. I'll ask the obvious question first. Why did you leave?"

She sighed, finally turning her head toward me and resting her warm, brown eyes on my face. I wanted to be angry with her. I _should_ be angry with her. Yet, I found myself wanting to understand her so much more than anything else.

**Flash Back:**

BPOV:

"Within three minutes the display will show your results," I repeated to myself for the thousandth time in the last three minutes.

I looked down at the test again, hoping for an answer, but still nothing yet. Deep down inside I already knew the answer…After three tests, how could you not?! I looked at my watch again and then looked at the EPT test. My heart sputtered and stopped at the sight of it.

"Pregnant," I mumbled, hoping somebody would find out and share this heavy burden with me.

_Edward_…I looked at my watch yet again, actually looking for the time now. Five-thirty. _Hmm…That was peculiar. He was normally home by now_

I looked out of the window in the bathroom and saw that no cars were parked on the street, except for mine. I picked up my cell and called Edward. The phone rang five times and then the answering machine picked up.

"Hey, Edward. Umm…It's five-thirty and you aren't home…Not saying you have a curfew, but I kind of have something important to tell you. Anyway, I'll see you later. Bye. I love you so much. Okay. Seriously, bye."

I hung up, feeling a little stupid about professing my love for Edward to an answering machine. I ran to our room, picked up my bag and my jacket, and with a quick brush of my hair, I was on my way to see Edward at work. Edward had been given a position as an intern at the top architectural firm in New Hampshire. He normally got home at three, but today was different. I had this feeling that I couldn't really put my finger on, but it was ominous.

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of the firm, looking for Edward's Volvo. It was parked there in its usual spot.

_Nothing out of the ordinary_…I thought.

As I made my way through the lobby of the building, I tried to remember if Edward had said something about being late today, but I kept coming up blank. I was sure I would have remembered.

When I reached his nearly deserted floor, I walked past someone I recognized. I immediately stopped and turned toward him. "Hey! Umm…James, was it?"

"Yeah, James," he said eerily, as his eyes shamelessly raked over my body.

I was still in a pantsuit and heels from work so there wasn't much to see. "Have you seen Edward?" I asked, his stare making me feel awkward.

"He was in accounting last time I saw him, which was about ten minutes ago," he answered, his eyes never leaving my chest.

"Right, and were would that be?"

"Down the corridor, third door to the right."

"Thanks."

"My pleasure," he replied leering at me.

As I turned to walk away he grabbed my hand. "Wait!"

I looked at him curiously and pulled my hand away. "Yes?"

He continued to stare at my chest so I walked away. "Douche nozzle," I muttered to myself as I clicked down the corridor.

When I came to the third door, I grabbed the knob and pushed the door ajar. It took me a second to understand what my eyes were seeing. I was looking right at _my_ boyfriend, in a tender embrace with a tall, beautiful, dark haired girl, who was most definitely not me. Neither one of them seemed to notice the door had been opened.

I brought my hand to clasp over my mouth and let the tears fall silently as I backed away. I ran down the hall, back to the elevators, and then out to the parking lot. I got in my car and drove for about five minutes before I pulled over on the side of the road. I cried for what seemed like hours, thoughts flying through my mind in a slowly numbing haze.

When I couldn't cry anymore, I drove home to find that no one was there. As I walked into the house, I couldn't sense anything but darkness creeping around me. The very walls around me seemed to be closing in tighter and tighter on me.

I panicked, my only thought was that I had to get out of there and it had to be right now. I packed numbly and then wrote a letter to everyone.

_Dear loves, I can't ruin this for all of you, I have to leave._

_Thank you all for giving me things I have never had,_

_Friends, love, and most of all family…_

_I am so sorry if this hurts anyone, but it is necessary._

_Dear Edward, parting is such sweet sorrow. _

_I love you so much, but my time is now._

_Please just do me one favor…Do not, under any circumstances, _

_Come looking for me. It was amazing, just being with you, but _

_I know I am not the girl you will spend the rest of your life with._

_It is the sad truth, but if I'm wrong and we were meant to be,_

_You will find your way back to me. Just don't go looking._

_Love, Bella_

There was no need to end it badly by ruining everyone's day with the news that Edward cheated on me. I left the letter on the bed, along with the emerald necklace that Edward had given me—I didn't feel right keeping it. I grabbed my boxes and suitcases, and loaded all my worldly belongings into the car before driving away, never looking back.

I didn't have the luxury of lamenting my losses. I had a child growing inside of me that needed my attention.

_What's going to happen to this kid?_ I thought as a tear made its way down my cheek.

**End of flashback**

EPOV:

I sat there, reeling as she took me back with her to the day she left. Everything fell into place, finally allowing me to understand how Bella could have left me like that and why she had done so. But with this new understanding came a new emotion...Anger! It was running deep in my veins, with a fierce hotness that made my mouth burn from my struggle to contain the livid words that threatened to spill from my mouth. I sat there, pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to calm down.

"Edward?" Bella called timidly.

I didn't reply—I just sat there, trying to find something to calm me down…

Her eyes! I remembered that Bella's eyes were the only thing that could bring me back from that place. I got up and sat on the bed next to her, gently taking her face into my hands and looking deep into her eyes. Bella had always had this calm surrounding her and when you looked into her eyes, you could see that, that calm covered her soul. As I sat there, staring into those deep, brown pools, I began to feel more and more tranquil with each passing second.

When I let go, Bella spoke again. "Edward, I always promised myself that if I ever saw you again, I would ask you a question that has haunted me since I left."

"What is it?"

"Why after all the time we were together and everything we went through…Why did you do that to me? Was I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Just tell me so maybe I can fix it! Because apparently, there is something wrong with me that causes every good thing to slip right through my hands. All my damn life, I have never measured up to anybody's standards! No matter how hard I try, it doesn't matter. So please, just tell me!" she begged as the tears began to plummet down her face.

I looked at her in disbelief. "Bella, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! Don't you dare let anyone tell you differently!"

She turned her face away from me and I gently pulled it back. "Bella, I didn't cheat on you."

"Don't lie," she said sadly. "You lying is so much worse than you cheating on me."

"Bella, listen to me! That day in the conference room, I was hugging a woman named Samara. We had met in Alaska before I moved to Forks. She and I were best friends and I ran into her randomly in my building because she was dating the executive I was interning with at the time. I asked her to make an engagement ring for me since she was a very well known custom jeweler."

"Oh, you _are _good!" she hissed. "But you don't have to lie, Edward. You have no commitment to me anymore," she said, her temper flaring.

"We have a child! If that's not a commitment I don't know what is!"

"No Edward, _I _have a child you have a perfect life that I accidently tripped my way into!" she screamed

"Bella there is no way in hell my life is perfect because you have been missing from it!"

"That is Bullshit and you and I both know it!"

"I am _not _lying to you Bella!" I said, willing her to believe me.

"_Prove it_!" she muttered through clenched teeth.

I reached out and took her hand pulling her behind me. She followed, but not without trying to tug free. We crossed the lawn again but by this time, the sun was dawning and the grass was wet with morning dew. Once we were in the house, I dragged her right to my room.

"What the hell are we doing here?" she whispered harshly.

"You don't have to whisper," I said to her from across the room. I was in the closet; searching my safe for something I had held so near to my heart all these years.

"Why not?"

"Because all the rooms in the house are sound-proofed."

"Ok, now what the hell are we doing here?" she asked in a normal volume.

I walked toward her and stopped with a few feet between us. "This."

I pulled out the custom made ring, in all its twenty-four karat platinum glory—it was an elegant, princess-cut diamond with two bands that were separated. The ring itself said "Bella", and I couldn't imagine anyone else wearing it. When I looked into Bella's eyes, I saw what she was on the verge of a break down, so I picked her up bridal style—Perfect timing, too, because her knees gave out almost as soon as I had her in my arms—and carried her to the bed, lying down beside her.

"Edward, I'm so—"

"Don't. It's easier that way," I said, swallowing the tears that had been at bay since Bella came back.

"Edward, I understand now that leaving was the worst choice I could have made. But the fact is that I did leave and while I was gone, there wasn't a day that I didn't miss everything about you. There wasn't a day where I didn't think that dying would be better than missing you so much and not being able to have you."

"Where did you go?"

"Well, when I first left, I stayed at a hotel in Seattle while I arranged my transfer to Central Washington University. I finished out my senior year there. After graduation, I moved to an apartment in Seattle. While I was working at a publishing house, I started writing a lot more, but then it stopped until Emilia was a little younger than two. We traveled a lot, mainly Europe, but we spent some time in India—just a couple of months though. We went to a lot of other places until we went to England, where I was most comfortable. That was where I met Emily and—"

"How did you meet her?" I asked.

"I was at a subway station and there was a girl on the terminal who was crying her eyes out. I walked over and asked her if she was okay, and she said 'no'. We went out to a coffee shop nearby and I offered to let her stay with me since she had nowhere else to go. She had lost all of her family in a fire, she had no relatives, and she was running away to keep from being put into an orphanage. I made sure she went to school and finished. Then, I hired her as Emilia's nanny and we've been that way ever since."

"Why did you come back to America?" I inquired.

"I came back to try and get my book published. I wanted it to be an American release, so I moved to New York. About a week after I found a place in New York, I received a call from my Great Aunt Meredith. That was when I went up to Saratoga, with Emilia and Emily for a month. When Meredith died, it was just really hard to deal with…I mean, I had been working with editors, and Emilia was still small and Emily was starting college. I was a mess, but Emilia was the only thing that kept me going."

"Your life has been very adventurous. It's amazing where life can lead you," I said, thinking over everything she had revealed.

"Edward, did you ever date anyone else?"

"Yeah, several women, but it was never long. They would start and end the same way. I would try to forget you, and then I would just compare them to you. They would always fall short of my experiences with you," I admitted. "Did you ever date anyone else?"

"Lots, but they were all so…not y_ou!_ Well, there was one guy. His name was Jacob and we dated for three months in England. He was in love with me and I thought I could love him, but I couldn't. I was only in love with the _idea_ of him—just having someone there to love me in that way again. But I was emotionally unavailable and we both knew it."

Suddenly feeling bold I reached for her hand and intertwined out fingers. "It's okay. You don't have to run anymore." I looked into her brown eyes, hoping she could believe me. "You're safe here."

She moved closer, placing her head on my chest. "I know that now. Thank you so much, Edward."

"You very welcome, love."

When I woke up, I looked over at the clock. It was a little after noon and I heard someone walking down the hall. I looked down at Bella who was snuggled closely to my chest and decided that it was best I didn't move. I was terrified that if I did, I would find that this was the best dream I ever had, waking up alone once more. I would rather stay in this dream than ever face that reality again.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door and my mother's voice. "May I come in?" she asked.

"Yes."

When she stepped in the room, she looked at me then at Bella. "Oh my, do my eyes deceive me or is that Bella?" she gasped.

"The one and only," I chuckled.

"How, Edward? What…I mean…How?" she stuttered.

"About a week and a half ago, we saw her at a book signing. She and I have been working through some difficulties ever since."

"Difficulties?"

"Yes, along with the fact that she left we also…umm…we…"

"What, Edward? You are scaring me!"

"We have a four year old daughter."

She dropped the laundry basket she had been holding and looked at me in shock. "Run that by me again."

"We have a four year old daughter."

She pursed her lips and held up her index finger the universal signal for 'Wait, what the hell did you just say?'. She locked her eyes with mine. "One more time please"

"You're a grandmother," I said, trying to read her reaction.

She walked closer to the bed. "We will talk later. No, I'm not mad. I'm just…We'll talk later."

I nodded and she walked out.

I decided now would be a good time to wake Bella. I shook her a little, but she only mumbled something unintelligible. I put my lips next to her ear. "Love, it's time to wake up."

She mumbled again and put her hand on my chest.

I thought of something and went for it. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this—My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

She opened her eyes and smiled at the recognition of the line from Romeo and Juliet, she sat up, stretched, looked me in the eyes and placed one hand on my cheek while the other rested in my hand. "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss," she quoted, smiling wickedly.

"Would you like to join me for breakfast?" I asked, looking at the clock again "Well, actually, it's lunch now."

"Of course! Who wouldn't want to go to breakfast with Romeo?" she quipped.

"Well, you go home and get ready and I'll be at your door in half an hour."

"Sounds good" She got up, walked towards the door, put her hand on the knob and looked back at me. "There's something different about us right now…Do you feel it?" she asked looking at me, her head cocked slightly.

"Yeah," I answered. "Yeah I do. Like the calm after the storm and satisfying stillness."

"Exactly!" she smiled brightly. "I'll see you in half an hour."

With that, she took her exit and I went to take my shower.

**A/N: there you go…that is why Bella left...You have read now go review…**


	18. Check please!

BPOV:

As I stepped into the shower, I thought over last night's conversation. Scary would be an understatement. I was _terrified_ that he would completely reject my reasoning for leaving. I was so happy it worked out that I forgot to mention any details about Emilia and her condition.

_Oh god… I didn't tell him!_

I raced through the rest of my shower in order to have some time to think over the circumstances of my problem. Emilia had been diagnosed when she was three. It was hard to deal with at first, but we soon came up with a system that worked. We planned out every detail of her day, making sure her medication was given to her on time, and she was never left alone under any circumstances.

I sat on the couch in the living room for an immeasurable amount of time, lost in my own thoughts. I was trying so hard to figure out a way to tell him that I didn't hear the doorbell ring until it rang a second time, making me jump at the very sound. My heartbeat picked up double-time as I walked to answer the door.

"I figured I should ring the doorbell this time," Edward laughed as he stood on my porch, clad in a grey oxford shirt and jeans.

"Small favors like that make life worth living," I laughed.

"Well, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I smiled, trying to push away the thoughts of my current dilemma.

The car ride was pleasant, and our conversation served to fill in the blanks between us. I tried to stay focused on Edward, but my mind kept wanting to replay all the things I had been through with Emilia. She would go into remission for a few months and then have a really bad flare of lupus, before going into remission again and repeating the cycle. It was always so hard for me to see her that way, sick and helpless.

**Flash back:**

"Mommy, why does it hurt?" Emilia asked, looking out the window.

"Well, sometimes our bodies can't keep up…" I paused, trying to think of how best to phrase this for her. "So when that happens, we go through a lot of pain while our bodies try to catch up."

Emilia nodded her little head. "Mommy, why am I always tired or hurting?"

The tears I had been hiding from her threatened to make themselves known as I struggled to answer her question. "I don't know, darling. I don't know," I said, kissing the top of her hair.

"Mommy, I think I'm going to be sick again," she said weakly, as she leaned back over the cold porcelain toilet.

I sat there and did the only thing I could do for her…I held her hair and rubbed her back as her little body retched and heaved. This was the worst flare-up that she had ever had. Three nights ago, she had blacked out after complaining she was tired and her body ached. I had taken her to the hospital, but they had told me all I could do was give her the pills and wade through the flare-up. She had been in a continuous cold sweat ever since. Sometimes, she would wake up, vomit, and then go back to sleep. And then other times, she would seem like she was feeling better. She would even walk around for a little bit, but then slip back into the same pattern.

When she finished, I flushed the toilet. I looked down at her, not surprised to see that she had passed out against my chest from her exertions. I sat there and rubbed her clammy forehead, brushing some loose strands away while humming the song that was so painfully familiar to me—my lullaby.

_She doesn't deserves this…no one does_

**End of flash back:**

As we pulled into the lodge, I saw a police cruiser parked a few spaces down from us. I suddenly remembered that this was Charlie's favorite place to eat. In fact, it was the _only_ place to eat! I smiled at the fact that I was thinking about one of my parents without turning into a teary mess.

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asked, his own crooked smile firmly in place.

"Well, I was just thinking about how this was Charlie's favorite place to eat. This is the first time in a long time that I'm thinking about either one of my parents without being in tears. I know it's silly—"

"No, I understand. I went through the same thing with my parents…more so with my mother, though," he said as we walked inside.

As we approached the hostess, she gave Edward a long—too long—appreciate look and then glared at me.

"Table for two," Edward said smoothly, ignoring the hostess completely.

I realized that I had never asked Edward what had happened to his birth parents, feeling completely selfish—well, even more so than I had already been feeling. "So…would you mind telling me what happened to your mother and father?"

After we were seated with menus, he looked out the window. "Well, my father had a heart-attack—not that I was that close to him anyway. He was always there, but too busy for me. Carlisle is really the only father I have ever known. My mother had lupus and died after a really bad flare-up. That's when—"

"I know what it is," I said numbly, not really meaning to interrupt him, but unable to stop myself. _Oh god… it's from him! _I had never thought about Emilia's lupus being hereditary. I had spent so much time trying to figure out where this had come from and why it was my daughter that had to deal with it. I had even gotten myself tested, but I had never imagined it could be from his side.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, bringing me back from my own world of thought.

"I…It…The—"

"Hello! My name is Jane and I'll be your waitress for today. Would you like to try today's special?"

"Are you still serving breakfast?" Edward asked, dragging his eyes away from mine.

The waitress smiled kindly. "Yes, you are just in time."

He smiled back, but I could still see the worry in his eyes. "Well then, I'll have the stuffed Spanish omelet and an orange juice."

She took Edward's menu and looked expectantly at me. "And you?"

"I—" was all I got out before Edward interrupted me.

"She'll have the French toast with powdered sugar and strawberries on top. A slightly burnt hash brown on the side, and a glass of orange juice. Oh! And a glass of water with a wedge of lime," he recited as if it was nothing.

I stared in awe as the waitress scribbled down his specific directions. By the time she walked away, I still hadn't managed to form a coherent thought.

Edward just looked at me, raising one perfect eyebrow.

"How…I mean…how did—" I sputtered.

"I just knew," he shrugged. "Remember when we came here at one in the morning just before Christmas and you demanded that they make breakfast because it was technically morning already?"

"Yeah, that was the best French toast…Oh!"

"Yeah," he smiled sadly. "Those memories become very precious when you lose someone."

I looked deep into his eyes, wincing at the amount of pain I saw there. I realized that even if _we_ were okay, he would never exactly who he once was. He was distorted and it was all my fault. The only thing I could do now was to never let him down again.

"You never lost me, Edward," I said, reaching across the table and grasping his hand. "Don't you ever doubt that when I left you, I left my heart and soul behind. Only when Emilia was born did I receive a fraction of it back. And now that you are here, there is _nothing_ that could ever make me do that to you, or myself, again."

We sat there, looking into each others eyes, for what seemed like hours when it was only seconds. He seemed to be searching my eyes for proof that I would be as true as my words.

"Why did you look so sad just before the waitress came?" he asked suddenly.

"I…Well…Let's start some where else. Is there anything you want to know about Emilia?"

"Everything," he smiled.

"Well, she was born on the twenty-third of March."

"Where?"

"University of Washington Medical Center."

"What was it like? Seeing her for the first time, I mean?"

"Scary as hell," I laughed. "It was so surreal! And it made me feel so alive. But one word to describe it would be…_beautiful_. From the moment I saw her, the world had light and brilliance—and something I thought would never return after not having you in my life…I had _purpose_."

He smiled sadly. "When did she first walk?"

Just as he asked the question, the waitress came with our food and drinks. "Here you go," she said, as she sat the delicious looking dishes down in front of us and then walked away.

As soon as we had everything sorted out, I answered his question. "We were at the park, one day in the spring, sitting in the grass under a tree. I guess she just got tired of watching the other children play, because she suddenly got up. She would stand and fall all the time, but this time, she took steps. Of course, after those few steps she fell, but she walked nonetheless." I smiled as I unwrapped my silverware, thinking of how proud I had been of her that day.

"Her first words?" he quizzed.

"'Smile'," I said, laughing a little. "I was crying because my writer's block had been going on way too long. She had toddled over, put her hand on my face, and she said 'smile'. That word set free the inspiration deep within me and I kept writing until I finished the book."

He looked at me in amazement before asking his next question. "Her favorite food?"

"Oh, she loves anything citrus. She especially adores oranges."

"Least favorite food?"

"Peanut butter! She would starve before she would eat that stuff."

"Favorite stuffed animal?"

"Mr.Toggels. Emily bought it for her in England."

"Her fears?"

"She is afraid of thunder, but not lightning. She is sometimes afraid of the dark, but not really. Her real fear is our linen closet," I laughed.

"First trip to the hospital?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked back the tears that immediately followed the mention of that specific event. "When we came back from Saratoga, she complained that she was tired. I thought 'okay she just needs to get to bed earlier', but the she would get bruises when nothing at all happened. One day, she started crying that she was aching all over. She fainted in the grocery store and I was frantic. I mean, my perfectly healthy child just passes out! It didn't add up, so I rushed her to the hospital…I…I thought she was dead…She…She was so pale and cold." My tears slowly slid down my cheek as I took a deep, shaky breath. "When the doctor came out, she told me that Emilia had lupus and that she had her first flare-up."

When I looked into Edwards eyes, he looked so scared and heartbreakingly sad.

After a few moments of thick silence I sniffled. "Please say something?"

"What do you want me to say?" he asked.

"Anything"

"You shouldn't have had to go through that alone. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I asked in disbelief.

"I should have been there."

"You couldn't have been Edward! None of this is your fault. It's _mine_."

"Look, this particular argument could go on for a really extensive amount of time, so let's just agree to disagree. Alright?"

"Fine," I sighed.

"Fine," he echoed, with amusement in his eyes.

Resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at him, I took a sip from my glass of orange juice. As I looked around, I noticed the lunch crowd starting to come in—well, as much of a "crowd" as you could have in Forks.

"We should head back," I said breaking the silence.

"Umm…Wow…Head back…I completely forgot about that."

I looked at him with questioning eyes.

He seemed nervous as he sat there. "It's just that…Well, Esme is waiting."

"For?"

"Us to come back so she can have an explanation of sorts."

I could feel all the blood rush away from my face…S_he is going to murder me! _

"She is not going to kill you, Bella," Edward said, somehow knowing exactly what I was thinking. "She just wants to ask a few questions about why she has been a grandmother for about four and a half years with out knowing it."

"She knows about Emilia?!" I shrieked, my eyes growing larger by the second.

"Well, yes," he said, looking guilty.

"Check please!" I cried.

A/N: I know it's been a loooong time but I have been really busy…so yeah please give me looooots of reviews! I really appreciate it and it motivates me! Special thanks to Santi911 and My-Bella…


	19. This is home

A/N: hey I'm really sorry about the wait…its pretty short but its something right?... reviews make me write faster, so guess what? Review!

EPOV:

As we approached the house, I noticed Bella tense up in her seat. She could really be ridiculous sometimes. I mean, what did she think Esme was going to do to her? Had she forgotten that my family absolutely adored her and that everyone made mistakes? As I continued to look at her, she began to fidget with the bottom of her sweater.

"Stop. Just stop, okay?" I pleaded, taking her hands in mine to keep her from ripping a hole in her sweater. "I told you already, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. She is not going to eat you alive."

"But what if she does?" she cried.

"Well then, she will have ruined a perfectly good living room set, not to mention how hard it is to get blood out of an all white carpet. I mean, really—"

"Be serious," she pleaded, looking into my eyes.

I shut off the engine and turned to face her. "Bella, you hurt a lot of people when you left, and my mother was one of them…When she saw you this morning, she was surprised. There was defiantly no sign of hate or resentment in her eyes. You _know_ Esme! She couldn't hate you if she tried!" I said, trying to reason with her.

She looked up at my house, back at me, and then glanced at her own house.

"Bella, running is how you got here. I don't think it would be wise to even consider that."

She looked down and muttered something that sounded like "Damn that mind reading man".

I laughed and shook my head. "You really are just as stubborn as always."

She smiled and blew out a deep breath. "Let's go."

"That's the spirit!" I said as I opened my door.

"Don't push it," she scowled.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be festive."

As we started towards the house, I took her hand in mine, hoping to bring her some sort of comfort. She looked back at me with fearful eyes and a weak smile, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. When we arrived at the door, I almost knocked, but then decided not to prolong Bella's anxiety. We walked into the living room and found it empty. We headed into the kitchen, but it had no occupants, nor did the dining room.

"Mom?" I called.

There was no sign of her anywhere. I walked to the set of French doors that led to the garden and peered around the curtains. I saw her there, kneeling in front of the rose bush, working diligently in the soil. When I was a child, it had always fascinated me how she would put so much care into everything she did—she loved with everything she had.

BPOV:

When I followed Edward to the back doors, I looked through the curtains and saw Esme in the garden. The nurturing look in her eyes, the way she cared for her flowers…I realized that she could never hate me, or be disappointed in Edward and me. With new found courage, I grabbed the handle to the door and opened it. I felt Edward step behind me and I turned, putting my hand on his chest to stop him.

"Stay, I'll be fine. I promise," I smiled.

He stepped back and nodded, giving me his crooked smile. "I know."

The door closed as I stepped into the yard. Instead of hearing the note finality I had been dreading, I only heard the simple sound of a door closing, waiting to be reopened at any moment. It was just a door and this would just be a conversation with someone who cared for me.

"Hello, dear," Esme said as I approached her.

"May I join you?" I asked, my nerve faltering a bit.

"Well, that depends on how good you are with a hoe," she laughed.

I stood there like a deer in the headlights, stuttering but not really saying anything. "I…umm…I don't—"

Esme smiled and saved me from myself. "That's okay, dear. Just have a seat."

"Thank you," I sighed, feeling slightly calmer.

"How are you?"

"Slightly nervous," I answered shakily.

"About what dear?"

"You."

"Now who would be nervous about little, old me?" she laughed.

"A girl who ran away from everyone and everything that she ever loved, hurting everyone in the process," I said, unable to make my eyes meet hers.

"Ah, that girl." There was a pause that seemed to last for ages before her kind voice once again filled the space. "She has no reason to fear me."

"She feels really wretched about everything she has done—"

Esme stopped me before I could even really get going with my rant, lifting my chin and pulling my eyes toward hers. "Bella, you are anything but wretched. Do you understand me?" Her voice was still kind, but it also held a note of finality and sternness.

I nodded and looked towards the sun, hoping it would blind me and I would have an excuse to get out of this extremely awkward conversation. I really wished the courage that I'd had a little while ago would return to me with such force that this whole thing would be over in mere seconds.

"So I have a grandchild?" she smiled.

"A granddaughter…Oh, god! I'm so sorry that this happened…You deserve to know her. You deserve the chance to be a grandparent…I'm so sorry, Esme. You have to believe me!" I pleaded, praying that she would not only believe me, but maybe even one day forgive me.

"Bella, I love you like one of my own. I am extremely happy to have you back in our lives. You have nothing to fear about me. I will _never_ hold what you did against you. Just look at all the mistakes my children have made—I still love them the same, and I still love _you_ the same."

Her words felt like the world's warmest hug in that moment and I marveled that I could ever fear a woman so wonderfully kind and loving.

Esme took my chin into her gentle hands and looked me in my eyes. "You only did what you felt necessary, and that is okay. No one blames you Bella. You do not need to carry shame, remorse, or pain because of your actions…You are fine," she said lovingly.

With those simple words, I was healed to some degree. I no longer felt naked and ashamed because of my actions. I felt a thousand pounds lighter and a lot more willing to look in the eyes that I had once feared held resentment. Looking at those eyes now, I could clearly see they only held love…_She_ was love.

"Thank you," I said, wiping away the tears that spilled over.

"As far as an explanation goes, we can do that when Carlisle comes home. Now go to Edward. He's been without you long enough," she smiled.

"Thank you so much, Esme," I said as we stood up.

She pulled me into a warm and loving embrace, and we clung to each other for dear life. Her hug was like coming home from a long trip—you really didn't know how much you had missed it until you came back, and in a way, that's exactly what she was to me…_Home._

"It's good to have you home," she said as we parted.

I walked back into the house to find Edward pacing in the kitchen. As I closed the back door, he looked up expectantly, his eyes willing me to be happy and content.

"So, how did it go?" he asked.

"Postponed. That's how it went."

"Postponed? What do you mean postponed?"

"I mean, the actual conversation will happen after dinner. She wanted to wait until Carlisle was here so I wouldn't have tell my story twice," I explained.

"Well, at least you don't look like you've received the death sentence anymore," he smiled.

"Yeah, Esme gave me some very encouraging words," I said, looking toward the backdoor and the garden I knew lied beyond it. I turned my attention back toward Edward, waiting to see what he would say next.

Edward looked deep in thought as he leaned on his elbows across the counter top. I left him to his thoughts at first, just enjoying being so close to him. But soon enough, my curiosity got the better of me.

I mimicked his position directly across from him and smiled. "What's on your mind, sailor?" I joked.

"You…" he smiled.

"Well, that's original!" I laughed.

"Bella, do you trust me?"

"We're getting there, but eventually…yes…"

His eyes darkened a little; my answer had obviously hurt his feelings a little. "Do you trust me enough to follow my lead?"

"Anywhere," I breathed.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand and leading me to the front door.

I had a feeling that his lead would take me above and beyond…and for the first time in years, I wasn't afraid of what that meant.

A/N: hey guys it's been a while…I'm sorry I've been really busy with another story I've been working on with Santi911…it's a jasper and Bella story with lots of twist and turns! Its called Alexithymia…please check it out and tell us what you think


	20. A matter of importance

Alright guys I'm going to be posting my 20th chapter soon and I have come to notice something, I only have 260 reviews…now really guys….260…I mean 19 chapters of hard work—I'm talking blood, sweat and tears here—I hate to sound whiny but that's a really, really low number for 19 chapters…I love you guys who do review, but you _silent_ readers are really making me question my writing abilities?

I want to hear your opinion, what do you think of my story? I'm not looking for constant praise—although it is _much_ appreciated—I'm looking for critique ….what do you want to see improved in this story? Tell me and I will do my best to work on it…

I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong…

Should I keep writing this story or delete it?

Thanks

— Paige


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